Stronger Marriage Connection

Resilience in Marriage: Navigating Stressors Together | Nathan Leonhardt | 137

Jun 16, 2025
In this discussion, Dr. Nathan Lenhart, an assistant professor at Brigham Young University and author of "The Science of Virtue," delves into the concept of "capital R Resilience" in marriage. He introduces the ABCX model, emphasizing how stressors and perception shape couples' responses to challenges. Through cross-cultural insights, Lenhart advocates for seeking deeper meaning and flourishing beyond superficial happiness. He encourages couples to build resilience by embracing virtues like humility and gratitude, transforming adversities into growth opportunities.
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INSIGHT

Capital R vs Lowercase r Resilience

  • Resilience can be transformative, like a refiner's fire that shapes us into better versions of ourselves.
  • There's a distinction between "capital R resilience" for major gains and "lowercase r resilience" from smaller, meaningful recoveries.
ADVICE

ABCX Model for Resilience

  • Use the ABCX model: Stressor + Resources + Perception = Stress Response for managing family stress.
  • Access resources like community help and shape your perception to view challenges as opportunities for closeness.
ANECDOTE

Acute vs Chronic Stressors in Couples

  • Acute trauma like infidelity forces a drastic identity reappraisal and needs different coping than chronic stressors.
  • Daily challenges like work-family balance require ongoing negotiation and problem-solving in relationships.
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