Don't Mom Alone Podcast

  Wow! Six years into podcasting and the 265 episodes of this show have been downloaded 8.7 million times across 204 different countries. Today we are celebrating our podcast-iversary with a “best-of” show featuring clips from your favorite episodes.  We’re also featuring testimonials from listeners who share how the podcast has helped them not mom alone. Like these quotes from moms: “This podcast has really become my one-stop show for all things parenting. I love how you cover such a wide range of topics and how all of your guests are filled with grace and grounded in God’s word and his truth.” “It has totally changed my perspective on motherhood. I’ve gone from feeling quite frustrated and alone to knowing that other moms are dealing with the same things. I don’t feel quite so lonely. All the encouragement is really changing my life.” Thanks so much for listening to the Don’t Mom Alone podcast. I’m thankful it’s made an impact in your lives. When I started this six years ago, I couldn’t imagine where it would take me. As for the future? Well, we’ll just have to see where God takes us! Special Production Help from Airr: Ever wanted to share a specific quote or clip from your favorite podcast with a friend, but didn’t know how? This week’s sponsor, Airr, solves that problem by making it simple to share clips from specific episodes.  I’m going to start featuring listeners “airr quotes” in my Monday email. Make sure you go to https://www.airr.io/dontmomalone to sign up and start listening and quoting. 

Jonathan Almonte’s story shows how sponsoring a child through Compassion International (or other similar programs) can change the course of a child’s life.  However, it is the compassion of the people in his story who loved him when he fought back and wrote him letters calling out his identity and inherent worth as a child of God that may have made the biggest difference. “That letter changed my life. I was believing that I was a mistake. I was believing that God was not good for me. This letter helped me to understand that God provided a woman called Jamie thousands of kilometers away in a place called Michigan celebrating Thanksgiving. This woman wrote a letter to say, I am thankful for you. You are special, you're not a mistake.” As a child of a single mom in the Dominican Republic, Jonathan’s prospects were greatly limited. From a young age, he worked to earn enough money for each day’s food. The cost of getting into a school, a uniform as supplies, was nowhere near his grasp.  His mother applied for him to join the Compassion program and (after a wait) he was accepted. For the first time in his life, all of his educational, nutritional, medical, and physical needs were taken care of, and Jonathan felt believed in like he never had before.  “I was selling juice on the streets. I was diving in a garbage area without hope. So this ministry for me meant my life. My life is before and after the ministry of Compassion in partnership with the local church in my community. ” I hope this episode leads you to message Compassion to receive a child to sponsor by texting "HEATHER" to 83393.  (Text STOP to opt out & HELP for help. Message & Data Rates may apply. Terms & Conditions/Privacy Policy: https://www.compassion.com/privacy-policy.htm) 

On the surface, Victoria (Tori) Petersen’s story doesn’t sound full of hope. Her growing up years were filled with abuse, a mom who struggled with drugs, and more than 10 foster homes with no hope of adoption. But God’s heart for Tori wasn’t death; it was life. Through a series of relationships and her own study, Tori learned about God. She experienced sacrificial love and community in the church and through her foster parents. It changed her whole future. “The encouragement, the support, and the ability to see that through their words, through God's speaking through these people and acting through these people in love showed me that I did have a future, that God did have a plan for me and that if I trusted in him, that plan would blossom into something.” After emancipating from the foster care system, Tori’s life has had more ups and downs. But, she is confident in her identity in Christ and learning more every day. Now as a mom and wife, God is redeeming her story and using it to encourage others who are a part of the foster system. “I think foster parents remembering that they are image-bearers and in those hard times to be able to humble themselves and say,’ I am weak and I'm going to call on God's strength to love this child.’ Also communicating to the child that they're made in God's image. They are loved despite any kind of behavior or any saddening event that they have been through. Identity in Christ is crucial to the relationship between foster youth and foster parents.”

Susie Davis is a mentor of mentors. She’s the author of several books and host of the Dear Daughters podcast. I’m so excited to share our conversation with you as she answers your questions about mentorship, marriage and meeting with God.  “I think you deserve a mentor. I think it's God's will for your life to have an older woman that you can talk to who has wisdom for you and your specific situation.” In her book and podcast, Dear Daughters, Susie seeks to bring together younger women and spiritual moms. Each of us has valuable insight for one other, but getting started with mentoring can be a hurdle. Whether you have a mentor, are a mentor or want to start, Susie shares encouragement and insight into establishing and maintaining a healthy mentor relationship. (including what not to say!) We also talk about marriage and how to love your man without losing your mind about the little things that can drive us crazy.  “I think marriage is the greatest opportunity for sanctification, which is just becoming more like God. It is the one relationship that is never supposed to end. You're ‘trapped’ in it and you have to work it out with them.” Talking with Susie is such a gift. She shares a wealth of wisdom from the perspective of someone who has experienced a lot of growth in her own life and marriage over the years. Grab a cup of coffee and listen in as Susie mentors us all!

Racial tensions in America are as high within the church as outside of it. My guest Latasha Morrison believes Jesus followers must become the leaders in the conversation on racial reconciliation. That we must, “build a bridge” to bring justice, healing and transformation. “It starts with awareness and then acknowledging the pain and brokenness. We didn't create it, but it is all of our responsibility to be a part of the solution. And no one gets an ‘out’ here.” Latasha founded the organization Be the Bridge in 2016 to encourage racial reconciliation among all ethnicities, to promote racial unity in America, and to equip others to do the same. Now she’s written a book of the same name that comes out this week.  We talk in depth about racial reconciliation, biblical justice and the diversity of God’s kingdom. It’s not an easy conversation, but it’s a necessary one. I pray you will listen with an open mind and heart for all God wants to do to bring unity to the body of Christ.  “Every culture is an expression of who God is and not one ethnicity can represent the totality of who God is. We serve a diverse God. If you’re thinking that God looks just like you and talks just like you, remember, Jesus didn't speak English. Sometimes we need a reality check on that. Just because something is different doesn't make it wrong.”

As parents, we are keenly aware of the peaks and valleys of our kids’ emotions. Anger, sadness, excitement, and all the other feelings can make us feel like our child is on a roller coaster we’re just trying to slow down.  It’s true that we all feel highs and lows throughout our day, but we rarely talk about what it feel like when we’re “in the zone” and feeling calm and ready to go. My guest today is sharing about the window of tolerance and how to regulate ourselves and our kids to help stay in that window.  “If I am dysregulated, I cannot regulate my child. So if I'm in fight or flight and I'm yelling. There's no amount of yelling that brings my child back into the window. And sometimes parents think the yelling is working, but what you're doing isn’t getting your child in the window. They're going into collapse and into a place of fear.” Charissa Fry is a Licensed Professional Counselor and believer. Her passion is to come alongside those who are hurting and struggling to help them find truth, hope, healing, connection, and growth. She shares some eye-opening information and statistics to get us on the path to helping our kids build resilience and stay in that window of tolerance.  Charissa shares from a faith-perspective that we as believers are not alone. She reminds us that we can lean on God to regulate our emotions as we love on our kids and go through the hardships of life.  “God himself through Jesus is the ultimate attachment figure. He is always reaching for us. He never fails to respond to our needs. He always loves us. He's never judging us and never shaming us. So to know that when we need to be co-regulated, that when I am feeling like I'm going to leave the window, I can remember the truth of who God is and I can reach out to him in prayer.”

It’s a popular (and sometimes controversial) typology system that can help you understand yourself and others better, but how can we use the Enneagram in light of the gospel to help our marriages thrive?  Beth McCord of Your Enneagram Coach is here to walk us how to look at our marriages and close relationships through the lens of the Enneagram and the Gospel.  “With the Enneagram, you can see that we all struggle. We all need Jesus. It's just we need it in different ways. And he makes us more like him in different ways as well. It's called the body of Christ and we reflect Christ differently. We all need to bring our uniqueness to glorify him and bless each other.” We talk about how using the Enneagram can improve communication and compassion in our marriages and what to do if your spouse has no interest in learning his type. (hint: the answer isn’t to bug him about it)  Beth shares that no one pairing out of the 45 possible Enneagram matches in marriage is better than any other, but it’s our surrender to Christ that makes all the difference.  “I can guarantee you there is not a combination that is better or worse. Any two types that are surrendering and depending on the grace of God through Christ’s work on the cross on our behalf will be a blessing to one another.”

When a child processes sensory information just a little differently than his or her peers it can mean BIG emotions, meltdowns and a huge struggle for us as parents.  Often these kids are labeled as “sensitive” or “intense” and they might cause us to avoid playdates and public places because we’re never sure what seemingly small issue will cause the next explosion.  Lynne Jackson of Connected Families joins me to uncover the mysteries behind our kids with sensory struggles and how we can help them thrive. We talk about Sensory Processing Disorder and the wide range of sensory processing symptoms.   As a mom who had two kids with sensory processing needs and as a licensed occupational therapist, Lynne encourages us to become a student of our kids and try to understand their point of view. “Imagine if the volume on all your sounds and the sensations in your body was turned up and you were to trying to fall asleep, that would be really hard. Car rides and meals are often torturous. So then what are the kids doing? They're trying to cope. They're jumping down. They're complaining about the food and squirming in their seats. They're trying to do something so they feel in control.” We talk about what to do if you suspect a sensory processing problem in one of your kids and where to seek help. I share my story of working through this with one of my boys and why I wish we’d gone to see a therapist sooner.

Author, blogger and podcast host Sarah Mae joins me to share her story of working through the generational bondage of alcoholism and the verbal and emotional abuse she suffered from her mother.  “I remember yelling out, 'I'm going to kill myself,' and her saying, 'Go ahead, I dare you.' And that was it for me. I just bawled because I felt so unloved and so confused.” In her new book The Complicated Heart, Sarah takes us into her painful past and all she experienced with her mom. She also shares the hope and victory of how God wooed her heart and changed the direction of her family forever.  “Dysfunction does not have to be your legacy. It does not have to be your identity. And you do not have to pass it on to your kids. It doesn't matter if you were born into it, married into it or you created it yourself. There is always victory on the table. We just have to be willing to pick it up.” Throughout our chat, Sarah is candid and encouraging. She shares openly about the abortion she had at 16 and the healing she’s experienced from bravely speaking out against the shame of past sin and accepting God’s grace as all-sufficient. 

Access to the internet is everywhere in our modern world. And that means access to pornography and sexual imagery is everywhere too. Rather than bury our heads in the sand or cross our fingers that our kids won’t see porn, we can choose to be proactive and to give them a plan for how to react.  Kristen Jenson, the best-selling author or Good Picture Bad Pictures, joins me to share some simple ways to talk with our kids about porn and protect their minds.  “Pornography makes a child more vulnerable to sexual abuse. So if you porn-proof your child by starting these conversations early, you are actually helping your child to be more protected from child sexual abuse. When you start these discussions it's not as hard as you think. And once you do, you've begun this journey with your child to trust you for answers. You tell them, ‘Don't go on Google to ask these questions. Come and talk to me.’” This may feel like a super heavy topic, but I promise it’s worth taking the proactive approach now vs waiting till you have teenagers. Kristen shares a lot of resources and makes it easy to get started.