Don't Mom Alone Podcast

During the last 10 minutes of my conversation with Dr. Turansky I asked him about how to train a child with oppositional behavior. He mentioned 7 different tools. With each tool there are several resources available through his website (https://www.biblicalparenting.org/).  Please listen to Ep 274 for the rest of the conversation. 

When a child disobeys, our knee-jerk reaction is typically to discipline with consequences. It’s probably how we were parented and seems like the best choice at the moment. But what if we took a different approach?  My guest Scott Turansky has some exciting, hope-filled news for us. We can look at our child’s behavior and identify a heart attitude that needs training. Changing their attitudes or internal motivations is what will drive external or behavioral change.  “I would suggest that parents move to consequences too quickly and that another approach is needed to make a lasting change in a child's heart. If we strategically focus on the heart of a child and use techniques that are more internally-focused, we can see some really significant things take place.” Scott is an expert in parenting. He literally teaches college courses on it. He’s the director at the National Center for Biblical Parenting, the author of several books and a father of five. Scott shares a lot of wisdom and practical advice for moving our kids from a place of defiance and disobedience to an attitude of honor and selflessness.  It’s a lot to take in, but so good and full of hope. We can do this and Scott is here with resources and ideas to help us train our kids’ hearts.  Connect with Scott:  Website: biblicalparenting.org  Facebook: facebook.com/National-Center-for-Biblical-Parenting Books: amazon.com/Scott-Turansky    Links Mentioned:   National Center for Biblica Parenting  [WEBSITE] Biblical Parenting Coaching Program [WEBSITE] Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids! [BOOK] Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes [BOOK] The Christian Parenting Handbook [BOOK] Featured Sponsor : ESV Seek and Find Bible Until 2/24/20 save 40% off at crossway.org/DMA1 Featured Sponsor : FabFitFun Use DMA10 at www.FabFitFun.com to save $10 off your first box

Finding friends as an adult, keeping up with friends when you become a mom, transitioning friendships as your children grow up… No one tells you what to expect. But, friendships are worth investing in and they are a key part of what helps us not mom alone. Author, speaker and mentor mom Melanie Shankle joins me to share how she’s navigated friendships as an adult. She opens up about what worked, what didn’t and a few things she wishes she’d done differently. “I think it was some of it was my own insecurities of getting out there and making new friends. I don't find women to be any less intimidating in my forties than I found them to be when I was 16 years old. I think there's also a thing as women that we tend to get in a circle and be inward-focused and we aren't good about looking out to see who might need a friend or who may want to be included.” Melanie talks candidly about her friendships, being an introvert and about how friendship doesn’t mean we have to agree on everything. Looking back, she wishes she’d been more open to meeting people and making friends instead of being more inwardly-focused.  “I think you would be better off going with the assumption that everybody would like to make a new friend. You know, just that everybody's open to friendship and to get to know a new person.” Connect with Melanie:  Website:  thebigmamablog.com Facebook: facebook.com/melanieshankle Instagram: @melanieshankle  Links Mentioned:   On the Bright Side [BOOK]** Nobody’s Cuter than You [BOOK]** Ep 12: The Antelope in the Living Room with Melanie Shankle [PODCAST] Ellen DeGeneres & George Bush [VIDEO] Episodes on Friendship: [Ep 233] Cultivating Friendships in a World of Isolation :: Sally Clarkson  [Ep 159] Healing Friendship Wounds :: Lisa-Jo Baker [Ep 148] Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships :: Renee Swope  [Ep 102] That’s Me. . .Craving Authentic Friendships :: Libby & Leslie 

It starts subtly the same way it did with Eve in the garden. “Did God really say?” These small lies from the enemy pass through our minds as one of the 60,000 thoughts we have each day. But lies don’t stay small. Some take root and build highways and cities in our brain that cause us to question God, question who we are and live in fear that the lies are actually the truth.  My guest Jennie Allen talks about how to fight back against the lies that are constantly thrown at us. She opens up about her doubts and how she’s learned to fight back in the war for her mind. We talk about everything from mom guilt to questioning God’s existence to fighting for the minds of our kids.  Jennie shares that we have to recognize there’s a battle and we have to fight it with the right kind of weapons. “This is a spiritual war and we have to throw spiritual weapons at it. And then it says in 2 Corinthians 10 that we are given divine weapons that can destroy strongholds. So those of you out there that are like, you know what? This isn't passive, that thought of doubt or this isn't passive, this is a stronghold that has captivated me most of my life. Scripture says that we have divine weapons to destroy it. Now those divine weapons, we've got to choose to employ them and it's not easy.” Listen as we learn how to fight back in the war for our minds. Connect with Jennie:  Website: jennieallen.com  Facebook: facebook.com/jenniesallen Instagram: @jenniesallen Links Mentioned:   Get Out of Your Head [BOOK]

Kelly Minter followed her dreams to Nashville to pursue a career in music. After years of highs and lows as an artist (mostly lows), Kelly had the opportunity to switch fields and write her first Bible study with LifeWay Publishers.  Kelly shares with us about how in the midst of disappointment and unfulfilled dreams, she has found God faithful to continue writing her story. One of her first studies centered on the life of Joseph, a man who also had dreams that weren’t fulfilled the way he expected. “Suffering made Joseph fit for the dreams that God had for him. Those dreams were birthed and they were going to happen. But it was the hard, difficult process that made Joseph ready and able for those dreams. Because a lot of humbling had to happen, a lot of faith had to be forged, a lot of obedience had to be built and a lot had to happen for Joseph to be ready for that.” Now an established author and speaker, Kelly has a gorgeous new cookbook out focused on accessible recipes to inspire your cooking and stories about building community around the table. Links Mentioned:   No Other Gods [BOOK]** Cultivate Gathering [WEBSITE] Finding God Faithful [BOOK]** Water into Wine [BOOK]** Kay Arthur Bible Studies [WEBSITE] A Place at the Table [BOOK]** Resources, videos and podcast for Kelly’s new cookbook [WEBSITE]  

It’s not an exaggeration to say that Beth Moore is a spiritual mother and inspiration to many women. Her numerous Bible studies and books are a staple in women’s ministries at countless churches.  Instead of just an interview promoting her new book, she took the time to chat with me about her own hard experiences in motherhood and marriage. Get ready for some real talk about real life and real problems. Beth doesn’t want to be seen on a pedestal.  Whether it was the difficulties of the busy schedule ministry and speaking or the dynamic of spiritual leadership in her home, Beth shares that she’s always found God to be faithful in her places of need.  “There is grace for every day. I always think of the mercies of God when he says in Lamentations, that his mercies are new every morning. I think about the manna and how each person gathered exactly what they needed. That’s how God’s grace is for us. It is always given according to our needs.” Beth is a powerful communicator and our interview only gets better as we keep talking. Hang in there to the end for a holy ground moment when she prays over all of us. “Father, I ask you for supernatural trust in these mothers. I ask you that right now you would settle and establish their hearts that they are intimately known by you. I pray, father, that they will rest in the assurance that there is nothing they can do to shake your love or even shake away your presence with them.” Connect with Beth:  Website:  lproof.org Facebook: facebook.com/LivingProofMinistriesWithBethMoore/ Instagram:  @bethmoorelpm Links Mentioned:   Chasing Vines [BOOK]  

As a lawyer who felt pressure to provide for her family and make a career for herself, Kim Cash Tate was surprised to feel God calling her to a ministry of staying home with her kids and later homeschooling them.  She could have ignored the prompting and pursued her career, but Kim chose to “cling” to God and step out in faith. That decision took her to a lot of places that a law career never would. She became a fiction writer and led Bible studies and now writes and stars in a web series and in music videos. But her focus isn’t about making a name for herself or reaching a goal. It’s always been about intimacy with God and following his leading in her life.  If you feel stuck in your current season of motherhood or discouraged that you have dreams you haven’t seen fulfilled, Kim’s story can give you hope and expectancy that God is still writing your story.  And as we choose to draw near to him, he is faithful to lead us to things that are better than we could’ve planned on our own. Connect with Kim:  Website: www.kimcashtate.com Facebook: facebook.com/kimcashtate Instagram: @kimcashtate YouTube: youtube.com/kimcashtate Links Mentioned:   Kim’s Books and Resources Cling video series Kim’s Music Verses Mentioned: You must follow the LORD your God, fear him, observe his commandments, listen to his voice, serve him, and cling to him. Deuteronomy 13:4  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:10 Featured Sponsor : PrepDish Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. NOW offering KETO MEAL PLANS! Imagine…all of your meals prepped and ready to go for the entire week. We like to call this meal time bliss! Get 2 weeks FREE go to Prepdish.com/dma. Featured Sponsor: Connected Families Your kids will mess up. So will you. Connected Families believes that the perfect time to build wisdom and GROW your relationship with your kids is during the messy times. They’ve developed an 8-session online course called Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart. It is only offered twice a year, so register today! https://connectedfamilies.org/dtc/online-course/ Use coupon code DMA15 for 15% off!

Mountains of laundry, piles of toys and all the other “stuff” of life that comes into our homes can feel overwhelming, even to the neatest of moms with the best of intentions. We all love our families, but living with the messes and the clutter that comes along with them is a challenge. My guest Allie Casazza knows what it feels like to be overwhelmed by constantly cleaning and picking up her house at the expense of enjoying time with her kids. A few years ago with four kids under the age of five, Allie had a moment of clarity with God as she sat crying in her bathroom. If all I'm doing is cleaning up and it's just a bunch of stuff we don't really need, then what if we just didn't have stuff anymore? That moment changed the course of her family. It also changed how she viewed motherhood and all the “stuff” that comes along with it. Now, she shares the practical ideas and the mental shifts that helped keep the clutter away to free up her life for what matters most.  Connect with Allie:  Website: alliecasazza.com Facebook: facebook.com/alliecasazzablog Instagram: @allie_thatsme  Links Mentioned:   Resources from Allie for DMA Listeners  Declutter Like a Mother Challenge Marie Kondo Method Kat Lee and HelloMornings Featured Sponsor: PrepDish Prep Dish meal plans were created by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf to help save you time and put home-cooked meals on the table. No meal time stress. No more answering the dreaded question, “What’s for Dinner?!”. Developed by chef and dietician Allison Schaaf, Prep Dish is a healthy, whole food based meal plan subscription service. Allison does all the planning for you- including easy-to-follow shopping lists and prep-ahead instructions so you know what to prepare and when. NOW offering KETO MEAL PLANS! Imagine…all of your meals prepped and ready to go for the entire week. We like to call this meal time bliss! Get 2 weeks FREE go to Prepdish.com/dma. Featured Sponsor: Connected Families Your kids will mess up. So will you. Connected Families believes that the perfect time to build wisdom and GROW your relationship with your kids is during the messy times. They’ve developed an 8-session online course called Discipline That Connects With Your Child’s Heart. It is only offered twice a year, so register today! https://connectedfamilies.org/dtc/online-course/ Use coupon code DMA15 for 15% off!

Toni Collier’s short childhood ended in third grade when her mother had a stroke and she was practically left alone to care for her. Toni carried many heavy emotional burdens in her childhood and felt deeply that she had to protect herself because the world was not a safe place.  Fast forward several years and Toni’s strength of will to avoid the emotional trauma she experienced as a child finally ran out. Now a mom and reeling from an emotionally abusive first marriage, Toni sought counseling and therapy for the healing she so desperately needed.  “I was so blind to how unhealthy my life actually was, and the unveiling, the unwrapping of this emotional onion made me worse. But there was a healed Toni that I had to get to. Not just for me, but for my daughter and my new marriage. The only thing that brought me through was the hope that there is a God who said he could trade my weakness for his power.” Toni opens up about the “treacherous” process of facing intense emotional trauma, the shame and stigma that surrounds therapy and what it’s like to parent in the midst of facing your own brokenness. Now as a powerful communicator and host with North Point Ministries, Toni has learned that God can take our broken, painful pasts and use them to minister to others.  “I hopped on stage at North Point and my entire life changed in weeks. It was the first time in a long time that I had been in a ministry that's celebrated my gifts, wasn't intimidated by them, and also welcomed my brokenness. It is as if I had experienced a new Jesus.”

Melissa d’Arabian is a winner of “The Next Food Network Star,” a celebrity chef, author, and mom of four. She’s is an expert on affordable and healthy family home cooking who has inspired people with her shows on Food Network.  A few years ago, God inspired Melissa to do a deep dive into scripture and prayer to evaluate the meaning of food in her life. What she discovered is our relationship with food reflects our understanding of God and his creation.  In her new book, Tasting Grace, she invites readers to appreciate food as not only a gift from God but also as a deeper invitation into his love. “Every meal we have can be an invitation into creativity, community, and patience. The fact that I could sit there and even for a moment and marvel and at least to honor everything that's gone into my food connected me more to God and it made me enjoy the food more.” We talk about how meals can bring us closer to God and how he created a food system to nourish us and delight our palates. Melissa is passionate about separating food and body image and saying no to the negative perspective often put on food.  “I want my children when they are young women going out there in the world to have the joy of a great relationship with food. And so if I talk about myself in a way that is unkind, not only are my kids hearing it, but God is hearing it. Speaking in terms of body image and all of that, I think it must make God feel sad when I reject the body he has given me. ”