Something Positive for Positive People

Alright y’all, this episode marks a bit of a shift for SPFPP. For years, we’ve focused on dating with herpes—what it looks like, how to navigate it—but today, we’re stepping into something new: the other side of dating, being in a relationship. As someone who’s been talking about dating with herpes since 2017, it feels only natural for the podcast to evolve with where I’m at in my own life. Truth is, herpes isn’t a big deal to me anymore, especially now that I’m in a relationship. So it’s time for me to start talking about what this next chapter looks like. This episode is all about being vulnerable, and y’all, I’ve been feeling the pull to share more of myself—my experiences, my challenges, and my growth. If you listened to Episode 259 where I talked about my grandmother, you know what I mean. I’m finishing Yoga Therapy school, moving in with my girlfriend, planning for a family, and just really leaning into what matters to me now. I want to know where you’re at, too. Have your values changed? Are you looking for something different from SPFPP? Let me know! Let’s build this next phase of SPFPP together.

Heads up I talk about abortion from the lens of being a Man. This was supposed to be a 15 minute update, but the way grief works having come up on the anniversary of my grandma's funeral which happens to be my birthday, aside from me apologizing for my inconsistency the last month or two, apparently all this needed to come out as well. Full blog post: https://spfpp.org/podcast/spfpp-359-23-years-of-grief

In episode 358, The Power of Disclosing to a Friend, we dive into the evolving mission of Something Positive for Positive People—supporting people with herpes to a place of openness where they can share their status with someone close to them. Courtney unpacks common fears around judgment and stigma and highlights the validation and relief that come from trusted connections. Through personal stories and actionable insights, we discuss how vulnerability in sharing our diagnosis can lead to stronger mental well-being and diminish the isolating effects of stigma. Tune in to explore pathways toward openness, healing, and community support. The Nov. 17 event for Men: https://getselfed.org/events See upcoming events by visiting www.spfpp.org/events For Yoga Therapy - www.spfpp.org/yoga-therapy For 1-1 Support - www.spfpp.org/herpes-support-call

In this episode, I connect with Aubri Lancaster of Ace Sex Education to discuss the lessons that the herpes community can take from the asexual community. We dive into how expanding our view of pleasure beyond intercourse can open up new ways to experience connection and satisfaction. Aubri helps us understand key concepts like graysexuality, the spectrum of attraction, and how de-centering sex can lead to a more present and fulfilling experience in relationships. Whether or not you're ace, there are valuable insights in this conversation that apply to everyone exploring sexuality. Aubri Lancaster is an independent AASECT and ANTE UP! Certified Sexuality Educator, conducting virtual workshops since 2021 and in-home adult toy parties since 2003. Aubri has presented for numerous organizations including the American Psychiatric Association (APA), the GLMA Annual Conference on LGBTQ+ Health, and Planned Parenthood of Southwest Oregon amongst others. As a Greyromantic Asexual person Aubri has lived experience and a connection to the Asexual and Aromantic communities that provides a unique perspective on the issues facing the changing landscape of sexuality and orientation today. You can find out more about Bri at www.AceSexEducation.com or on Instagram @AceSexEducation

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People, I get personal about my experience with Yoga Therapy after being diagnosed with herpes. We go into what Yoga Therapy is, how it’s different from traditional therapy, and why it’s such a game-changer for managing the emotional and physical toll that comes with living with herpes. I also talk about the role of emotional wellness, and how yoga practices can help with stress, identifying triggers, and improving overall well-being. If you're navigating stigma and looking for another way to take care of your mental health, this episode will give you something new to consider.

We inherently attach unconsciously to identities and roles we find ourselves in based on our environment. Stigma is one of those environments with various narratives and labels we can attach to. Releasing these attachments frees up the energy that takes form and shapes our core identity as unique expressions of energy. This episode is a reminder of what is possible through that release.

In episode 354 of SPFPP, I’m sitting down with Drew Rabidoux, a licensed clinical social worker who’s made it her mission to support women living with herpes. We’re diving deep into the heavy stuff today—the intersection of herpes diagnoses and mental health, particularly how it can lead to suicidal thoughts. Drew brings her experience working with clients who feel blindsided by a herpes diagnosis, even after taking all the right precautions, and we discuss how crucial the power of choice and support systems are in pulling someone back from the brink. This episode is a deep and necessary conversation for anyone grappling with the emotional fallout of herpes and looking for pathways to healing. Additional Resources: https://www.wellnessrecoveryactionplan.com/wrap-for-life-suicide-prevention-2/

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), we dive deep into redefining sex positivity with Sol, a Black woman navigating herpes stigma, casual dating, and sexual exploration. Sol shares her journey of breaking away from vanilla sex expectations, growing up in a religious household, and finally finding her voice in the sex-positive community. She talks about how past partners pushed her toward one-sided sex, where she never felt truly heard. From unfulfilling experiences like a three-year relationship where penetration and her needs were disregarded, to a partner who enjoyed causing her pain—Sol realized that sex wasn’t something that was being done with her, but to her. That changed when she found herself in spaces that focused on mutual respect, consent, and pleasure. It led her to explore settings like sex parties, where communication about desires and boundaries is not just encouraged, but required. We discuss what it means to be pleasure positive—where the focus isn't on just saying yes or no, but on having honest conversations about needs, boundaries, and consent in a way that is safe and validating. Sol talks about how transformative it was to be in a setting where everyone asked before engaging and how that level of accountability makes all the difference. This episode sets the tone for the upcoming Safe Sex Expo, where we'll continue these discussions, offering workshops on communication, consent, and pleasure. If you’re curious about sex positivity, or just tired of the same old "vanilla" conversations about sex, this one's for you. And come check out our events like the Safe Sex Expo to learn more.

In episode 352 of SPFPP, I sit down with Aaron Thomas, a 26-year-old Black man from Pittsburgh, PA, who shares his powerful journey of navigating life with herpes. Diagnosed five years ago with both HSV1 and HSV2, Aaron dives deep into the complex intersection of race, masculinity, and sexual health in the Black community. From the hypermasculine messages he received growing up to the challenges of reclaiming his identity as a Black man living with herpes, Aaron’s story is a raw and honest look at what it means to own your narrative. We explore how his upbringing, mental health struggles, and relationships have shaped his path, and how he's turning his experience into something positive for himself and others. You can connect with Aaron on Instagram at @aa.ronn_ or email him at thomasaaron27@gmail.com

In episode 351 of SPFPP, I’m joined by Mel Moseley, a powerhouse in the world of sex positivity with a mission to reshape how we talk about sexuality. Diagnosed with HSV2 at 18 and navigating the trauma of an assault, Mel’s journey led her to a deeper understanding of what sex positivity really means. We dive into the overlooked aspects of sex positivity—how it’s often mistaken for just intercourse positivity—and explore the critical communication tools that go beyond the bedroom. Mel shares her experiences with polyamory, her path to healing through intentional communication, and why she believes that pleasure and safety are at the core of any meaningful connection. This episode is about redefining sex positivity to include the emotional and communicative aspects that are essential for all relationships. You can connect with Mel: Website: https://www.melaniemoseley.com/ Direct link to Journey to the Wild Woman - the 4 day workshop I am doing with Dr. Dacker for peri- and postmenopausal women. Thurs, Oct 24-Sun, Oct. 27, 2024 in Sunriver, OR. My Touch Positive group in Portland, OR - Hive Love Photo credit by Darina Neyret