SPFPP 353: Something Pleasure Positive for Vanilla People

In this episode of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), we dive deep into redefining sex positivity with Sol, a Black woman navigating herpes stigma, casual dating, and sexual exploration. Sol shares her journey of breaking away from vanilla sex expectations, growing up in a religious household, and finally finding her voice in the sex-positive community.

She talks about how past partners pushed her toward one-sided sex, where she never felt truly heard. From unfulfilling experiences like a three-year relationship where penetration and her needs were disregarded, to a partner who enjoyed causing her pain—Sol realized that sex wasn’t something that was being done with her, but to her. That changed when she found herself in spaces that focused on mutual respect, consent, and pleasure. It led her to explore settings like sex parties, where communication about desires and boundaries is not just encouraged, but required.

We discuss what it means to be pleasure positive—where the focus isn't on just saying yes or no, but on having honest conversations about needs, boundaries, and consent in a way that is safe and validating. Sol talks about how transformative it was to be in a setting where everyone asked before engaging and how that level of accountability makes all the difference.

This episode sets the tone for the upcoming Safe Sex Expo, where we'll continue these discussions, offering workshops on communication, consent, and pleasure. If you’re curious about sex positivity, or just tired of the same old "vanilla" conversations about sex, this one's for you. And come check out our events like the Safe Sex Expo to learn more.