Help Me Be Me

This is for anyone who obsesses about the thoughts and feelings of others, clinging, feeling anxious and being unable to be yourself. This is targeted at those who are in bad relationship loops but it will also help if this is something that comes up in familial relationships. I thought it was a good refresher for the holidays because a lot of stuff comes up this time of year. This habit has a lot to do with codependency and relationship reliance because it’s a need to get validation from another person – to hear specific words from them that you are not hearing. It’s also something that comes about when we have a habit of controlling others, often due to fear and uncertainty during childhood. Regardless what we can do to help ourselves is recognize this is happening and come back into ourselves. That is the key: working on us for us, holding our own hand as we move through the pain. So here are some tools to come back to yourself and ground so you can come back to reality. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo To get your StoryWorth subscription for your loved ones this year, head to Storyworth.com/helpmebeme To get your Nutrafol head to Nutrafol.com and use promocode HELPMEBEME Happy Holidays friends! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Life is temporary – and that is kind of a beautiful thing. I recall as a child thinking that was so intensely and overwhelmingly sad. I almost couldn’t comprehend it. And now I can and I see it as a beautiful part of this experience. I think a lot of people don’t think about that part of life because it’s too far off or too painful to think about, and because of that we don’t curate our experiences in the way we might if it was more top of mind. Meaning we spend a lot of time in the doing. The pursuing. The distractions. The stuff that doesn’t matter. Often it takes a loss to see how short and temporary life is and how quickly it goes by, to put things in perspective. So as you move through this life experience, what can we do? We can first become aware. Make it a goal – an intention– to appreciate, value, slow down, be present. Enjoy. And we can be thoughtful in the experiences we curate and the time we invest. The goal of this episode is to allow yourself the opportunity to take stock of your priorities and the relationships that have great meaning in your life. Maybe that means changing your relationship to a parent or elder for the better. Maybe it means investing your time differently. Or simply appreciating those in your life a bit more. I’d like this to be a happy and positive episode. Not a downer. Hopefully this allows you to reflect and re-enter an old relationship, anew. This has been a request quite a few times and it’s also something I have been thinking a lot about. Aging parents, losing loved ones recently. I hope you enjoy it and so so sorry for the background noise! I had to record outside because of sick kids at home. For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Tools and insights for those who have dreams but are unable to take action toward them. This is about how to work with fear of success and fear in general. And most importantly looking at what is holding you back. Because when we don’t act the goal isn’t to force ourselves to act when we’re not ready. (Like, this is not about being pro-impulse. Because often there are real factors in our ambivalence.) The goal is to begin to understand why you are not acting so you can take the right steps. This is for anyone who has an inkling that they’d like to do something and they cannot for the life of them get themselves to even try. It might be a job. It might be as simple as making a TikTok. (That’s my weird fear.) Or maybe you are absolutely SURE that something is meant for you, like you are mid-screenplay – but you watch yourself repeatedly be inactive on this front. Or you don’t even know where to start – and so you don’t. Maybe it’s not even that explicit – maybe it’s just a general sense of procrastination. Or something weirder – like a general sense of resent or distaste for those who are successful at something in particular. That is because you are a magnet for this thing: you are reacting to it because it exists inside you! So use that feedback and take a listen. This is life school, remember? We are here to grow. Let’s give this little seed some water. Small changes evoke massive, life-changing ones! Here are the two links I mention:Dr. Stutz’s website with more of his tools plus more about the Netflix doc “Stutz” that I mention:https://www.thetoolsbook.com/ And the book, “The Artist’s Way” that I love:https://amzn.to/3OvUrHr For more of my work and to make a donation, you can head to https://www.YayWithMe.com and to check out my very first TikTok’s (gulp) you can find me at https://www.tiktok.com/@yaywithme Xo!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who has a relationship with someone or has to have interaction with someone who does not respect their right to basic human kindness, respect, personal space, or maintain healthy boundaries. This might show up as a person who insults you. Who picks at you, mocks you, targets you by belittling you. Maybe they make you are crazy for the way you do something. For the words you choose. For some habit you keep. For the way you exist or some random thing. Whatever it is, it’s confusing and hurtful. It also might make you start to question whether or not you are crazy. That my friends is the definition of gaslighting. And it may happen to you in a casual circumstance in your life. It can happen in any intimate relationship and it can happen in any environment, and don’t worry– you’re not crazy.The other name for this is ‘The war on words’ – that’s my term for someone starting to spin you in a web of conflict. So as soon as you try and pin them down, they jump to the next topic or the next one. And you can’t seem to solve the conflict – it only seems to get bigger.If this rings any bells, I want to acknowledge that confronting a person who is angry and violent can be extremely dangerous – so if that is true for you please speak with someone at this resource and form a plan:https://www.thehotline.org/For the rest of the links I mention in this episode, here’s the one about escaping a relationship with a narcissist:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/episode-50-how-to-break-away-from-a-narcissist-relationship/id895918183?i=1000341326142Here’s one link to Gabor Maté’s site about the connection between anger suppression and disease (he has a lot of great books, though a lot of them are downers haha):https://drgabormate.com/healing-force-within/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s regenerate a bit of that energy and perspective when we are feeling optimal, excited and at the top of our game. This state is also when we are the wisest and most capable of seeing reality for what it is. The energy shift I’m talking about is the difference between clapping along with the camp counselors as they sing songs, and rolling your eyes at them. I think we all have both of those people inside us and we have to choose to lean toward that perspective of “yes-and” –this is how we create lives full of excitement, positivity, friendship and inspiration. This is an episode aimed at curating an energy of optimism and shininess – because, truly we dictate our worth with how we present in the world. Meaning if we feel less optimal, more lazy, more down, more pessimistic, our energetic presence suffers. We make very different decisions, have very different conversations, and with that different opportunities arise. Our ability to command a room and bring a powerful, positive feeling to ourselves and others, also gets reduced.So let’s shift our energy, together! Sending love and smiles. For more of my work head to YayWithMe.com xoDISCLAIMER! There’s like 200 different construction projects happening around me while I’m recording and it sucks. I am so sorry– hopefully it will end before my next record. And here’s the book I mentioned (The Four Agreements). It’s short and a good stocking-stuffer for anyone who hasn’t read it. (If that’s even possible.)https://amzn.to/3svSaSo  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends! This is a preview of a podcast from our friends at TED Audio Collective: ReThinking with Adam Grant. In this episode, organizational psychologist Adam interviews Olympic medalist Allyson on finding motivation, bouncing back from failures, and learning to appreciate successes. If you’d like to hear more from leading thinkers and creators, follow ReThinking wherever you get your podcasts. Each week, Adam dives into the minds of interesting people to learn the unique ways they think and find practices we can all apply in our daily lives to live a little better. This season, the show features guests like bestselling author Celeste Ng, Oscar-winning actor Reese Witherspoon, and death-defying rock climber Alex Honnold. Enjoy!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode for anyone who is spending a whole lot of time and energy fixated on the habits, thoughts, or faults of a person they have a relationship with. Maybe that is a partner, parent, friend or a sibling. Regardless, this relationship is lopsided: you do all the things and they do not. Let’s say you are a caregiver type: you know how to make others function better than they know how to function, solo. But that also means you end up annoyed and exhausted.This is an episode tailored around stepping back from the energy and habit of being controlling – because despite how it feels, we really do have a choice. It’s hard to see that if you are in a relationship with someone who is using, depressed, or needy. But truly – when you step back, new opportunities open up. We can let go of all the struggle that we create for ourselves – and get such relief, instantly.What we often forget is that to be overly fixated on the thoughts, feelings, faults or ways of another person really robs us of our own enjoyment of life. It also robs the other person of the dignity of making their own mistakes.Caveat: this is not for you to listen to if you are a caregiver to a dependent, like a child.For more of my work and to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is my interview with the amazing author/speaker, Byron Katie. I wanted to do this interview because I feel that her process is powerful but simple and it very much enables individuals to practice disengaging from thoughts that are not helpful and/or cause a lot of pain and perpetuate dysfunctional behavior.We discuss her process for breaking free of thoughts that keep us trapped in loops of reaction. We also discuss how these thoughts are self-inflicted and the idea that pain is something that is predominantly created by ourselves, in our minds.TRIGGER WARNING: we discuss topics such as being the victim of a physical violation, so please avoid if this is a topic too sensitive for you.Byron Katie is the creator of “The Work” and practices “The 4 Questions of Inquiry” as well as “The Judge Your Neighbor Worksheet” which is found at the link below.To check out Byron Katie’s app plus download her free worksheets, head to:https://thework.com/For more of my work, you can head to YayWithMe.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the struggle of moving on from a past life and overcoming lingering shame. Learn about the deep connection between shame and trauma and the power of reclaiming personal power and aligning actions with values. Discover the transformative power of sharing experiences and the tools for releasing shame. Understand the importance of accountability in overcoming shame and the role of self-trust, therapy, friends, and education in the healing process.

For anyone who is dealing with a friend or family member (or anyone, really) who feels you are critical, rude, insensitive or always in the wrong. And when this happens, you are baffled... Projection is powerful. What we see we believe but most of it is created by our inner world. The reason I’m doing this episode is because projection is also a major factor in how someone charts their course in life. So if that person is self-loathing, unhappy, insecure and angry – they will be making decisions based on this set of feelings – including as it relates to their relationship with others. That person may choose to cut off contact with you, feel offended by you, or think of you as insulting them in the most average of situations. In other worlds, all they can see is how they feel inside. Regardless of how irrational, they see their reasoning as valid, and this is like a welcome escape from their inner world. Because it’s out there! Not me. It’s them. This episode has tools for setting boundaries with a person like this – and also tools for orienting yourself in the face of this. For more of my work and to make a donation, head to Yaywithme.com The two articles I mention in this episode are here:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/projectionhttps://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices