The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

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Dec 11, 2025 • 33min

132. Another Option w/ Blocks: Externalization in EFT—Guiding Clients Compassionately Into Vulnerability”

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Step into a heartfelt conversation where  Dr. James Hawkins and Nicola Hawkins explore the art of externalization in emotion-focused therapy. This episode delves into how therapists can gently guide clients into their most vulnerable spaces without overwhelming them—using creative, compassionate externalization techniques. Listeners will find practical strategies, authentic reflections, and moments of inspiration that underscore the importance of safety, attunement, and reintegration throughout the therapeutic journey. It’s a compassionate guide for every EFT therapist looking to expand their “toolkit” for helping clients move courageously into their own healing. Top Points from the Episode: - Upcoming training opportunities in EFT and gratitude for the therapy community, especially during challenging times. - The concept of externalization as a gentle intervention to help clients face vulnerability when direct approaches would overwhelm. - Creative metaphors and analogies—for example, “letting clients breathe but not leave”—to describe how to stay connected and supportive in tough moments. - Techniques for externalization: using third-person references, prototypes, past versions of self, and broader narratives to create safety. - The crucial process of reintegrating externalized parts to support clients’ healing and growth. - Reflection on the therapist’s role in providing validation, understanding, and new perspectives. - Practical adaptations for different cultural and client contexts, ensuring inclusivity and relevance. - Emphasis on co-creating meaning—from reframing past experiences to fostering autonomy and choice within sessions. - Encouragement for therapists to remain flexible, observant, and compassionate when clients hit emotional blocks. - Inspiring reminders about the transformative power of working on the client’s “leading edge”—where real change happens. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Dec 11, 2025 • 34min

131: The Transparent Therapist: Shining Light on Process, Intention, and Connection

Nicola Hawks, a therapist and trainer, discusses the pivotal role of transparency in therapy. She and host James explore how openness about intentions and emotional reactions fosters trust and safety in the therapeutic space. They delve into practical tools for effective communication, illustrating how transparency can guide clients through emotional landscapes. The conversation also touches on balancing risk with hope, and how modeling vulnerability can diminish shame for both therapists and clients. Insightful personal anecdotes enrich this engaging dialogue.
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Nov 24, 2025 • 34min

130. Stage 2 Mini Series-Caregiver Nightmares: Navigating Red-Light Reactions to Vulnerability

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, the hosts kick off a brand-new mini-series exploring one of the most challenging dynamics in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): red-light caregiving responses—those pivotal moments when vulnerability is met with shutdown, panic, or defensive reactivity. Drawing on real cases, supervision moments, and personal experience as EFT trainers, James and Ryan clarify the difference between “green-light” and “red-light” caregiving, unpack why these responses emerge, and offer practical strategies for therapists in the heat of high-stakes attachment moments. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Nov 11, 2025 • 17min

129. Stage 2 Series-Hesitation and Mixed Signals in Step 6-Yellow Lights

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Here's an engaging show description: "Yellow Lights in Love: Navigating Hesitation and Misattunement in Couples Therapy" In this revealing episode of the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Drs. James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive deep into the subtle art of recognizing and transforming "yellow light" moments in couples therapy. Learn how seemingly supportive responses can actually reinforce disconnection in relationships, and discover techniques to help partners truly hear and validate each other's deepest vulnerabilities. Key Points: - Understanding "yellow lights" in EFT: Moments of partial openness or hesitation - The critical difference between reassuring and truly being present with a partner's emotions - How self-regulation and co-regulation work together in healing relationships - Practical strategies for therapists to guide couples from disconnection to genuine emotional attunement Whether you're a therapist, counselor, or simply interested in relationship dynamics, this episode offers profound insights into helping couples create deeper, more authentic connections. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Nov 5, 2025 • 22min

128. Stage 2 Series: Cargeiving Cheat Code-We Don't Want Caregiving Perspectives, We Want Caregiving Responsivness

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. "Unlock the Caregiving Cheat Code: In this powerful episode of Push the Leading Edge, Drs. James Hawkins and Ryan Rana dive deep into the heart of Emotionally Focused Therapy's Stage Two, revealing the secret to transforming vulnerability into profound connection. Learn how to tap into your body's natural bonding instincts and create healing moments of care that can reshape relationships. Key Takeaways: - Discover how vulnerability is the gateway to genuine caregiving - Learn a step-by-step approach to elicit instinctual comfort responses - Understand how somatic cues can guide partners toward deeper emotional connection - Avoid common therapeutic pitfalls that derail emotional healing Whether you're a therapist, couple, or simply interested in human connection, this episode offers transformative insights into how we can truly show up for each other in moments of emotional rawness." To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Oct 7, 2025 • 29min

127. Stage 2 Series: Cargiving Response - Step 6 Orientation to Green Lights

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Here's a podcast episode description and main points: Episode Description: Dive deep into the heart of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana explore Step Six: Activating the Caregiving System. Learn how therapists can create transformative moments of connection by inviting partners to respond with genuine comfort and vulnerability. Main Points: 1. The Importance of Caregiving Responses - EFT focuses on responsiveness between partners - Caregiving is about creating genuine comfort, not problem-solving - Therapists must invite partners into emotional vulnerability carefully 2. Key Techniques for Inviting Caregiving Responses - Use somatic, present-moment language - Focus on immediate bodily reactions - Ask specific questions that trigger instinctual care - Maintain the same depth and pacing used in emotional exploration 3. Green Light Moments - Recognize when a partner is ready to provide comfort - Look for non-verbal and emotional engagement - Create space for natural, instinctive caregiving responses 4. Therapeutic Approach - Avoid meta-commentary or intellectual responses - Stay attuned to partners' emotional states - Help partners access their innate capacity for emotional support To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Sep 30, 2025 • 22min

126. Stage 2 Series: Enactments-Step 5

Delve into the nuances of Stage Two enactments in emotionally focused therapy. Discover why these enactments can feel awkward and how they aim to restructure relationships. Learn about key targets like revealing negative self-views and exploring deep primary emotions. The hosts emphasize the importance of risky revelations for healing cycles of protection and the need for partner witnessing. Practical tips abound, including timing enactments and managing emotional depth for effective connection. This insightful discussion equips therapists with strategies to foster secure emotional bonds.
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Sep 17, 2025 • 31min

125. Stage 2 Series: Accessing and Sharing the Negative View of Self-Important Component of Restructuring the Bond

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. The episode focuses on working with the negative view of self in Stage Two of EFT therapy, exploring the deep, vulnerable process of helping clients confront and share their most painful self-perceptions. Main Points: 1. Negative View of Self Characteristics: - Goes beyond just emotions - Represents core identity messages - Often rooted in past traumas and attachment injuries - Involves believing fundamental negative things about oneself 2. Stage Two Therapeutic Approach: - Linger and excavate the deepest negative self-messages - Use enactments to reveal core identity beliefs - Help clients share their most vulnerable self-perceptions - Create opportunities for partner acceptance 3. Key Therapeutic Strategies: - Slow, careful exploration of negative self-view - Validate and reflect deeply - Allow partners to provide compassionate, attuned responses - Avoid rushing or trying to immediately "fix" negative beliefs 4. Goals: - Help clients reveal their most painful self-perceptions - Create space for partner acceptance - Gradually restructure negative self-beliefs - Support healing from past relational wounds The episode emphasizes that working with a negative view of self is a profound, delicate process requiring patience, depth, and compassionate therapeutic skill. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Sep 3, 2025 • 33min

124. Stage 2 Series: 16 Stones-How Deep is Deep Enough-Hovering in Stage 2, Step 5

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode of "Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy", Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana dive deep into Stage Two therapy, exploring the critical question: "How deep is deep enough?" They discuss the nuanced process of helping couples explore painful emotional experiences and turn over metaphorical "stones" of past trauma and attachment injuries. Top Points: Stage Two Depth Requires Repetition Re-engagement for withdrawers typically takes 3-9 sessions Therapists must repeatedly explore painful experiences Build momentum from session to session Key Stage Two Strategies Enter difficult conversations from a positive foundation Use scene-setting techniques to evoke deeper emotions Convert individual pain into co-regulation opportunities Exploring "Stones" (Painful Experiences) Look for deepest fears Uncover negative self-views Explore barriers to seeking comfort Address attachment injuries, trauma, marginalization experiences Critical Therapeutic Approach Walk with clients through their emotional "basement" Help clients build confidence in facing difficult memories Ensure partners can provide comfort in vulnerable moments Create "experiential bridges" for future emotional support   To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!
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Aug 27, 2025 • 28min

123. Stage 2 Series: Step 5-The D.A.Ms We Believe

Dive into the powerful concepts of Deadly Attachment Messages (DAMs) in therapeutic work. Learn how these painful beliefs shape protective behaviors in relationships. Explore methods to help clients confront their deepest fears through immersive techniques. Understand the transformative role of the therapist's presence in guiding clients to navigate their emotional darkness. Tune in for practical tips that empower professionals to deepen their practice and foster genuine connections.

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