The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Summary: This episode of "Push the Leading Edge" focuses on Stage 2, Step 5 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), specifically exploring the concept of "Deadly Attachment Messages" (DAMs) and their role in deepening therapeutic work. Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana discuss how therapists can help clients access and process their most painful, internalized beliefs about themselves—beliefs that often drive protective behaviors in relationships. The episode emphasizes the importance of staying with clients in these vulnerable places, facilitating experiential change, and preparing for partner acceptance and new ways of reaching for needs. The hosts also share practical tips, personal experiences, and resources for therapists seeking to improve their EFT practice. Top 10 Points: 1. **EFT Intensives Resource**: The hosts highlight EFT intensives available in Northwest Arkansas, recommending them as valuable resources for therapists and couples. intensives@thejoshuacenter.com.  2. **Upcoming SV Focus Lab**: Announcement and encouragement to attend the SV Focus Lab in September 2025, focusing on therapeutic pivots. 3. **Stage 2 Overview**: Stage 2 in EFT is about restructuring the bond by helping the more withdrawn partner re-engage vulnerably, followed by work with the pursuing partner to soften their approach. 4. **Step 5 Focus**: Step 5 is the most intra-psychic part of EFT, where therapists help clients access the deep, painful beliefs about themselves that have developed from negative cycles. 5. **Deadly Attachment Messages (DAMs)**: DAMs are the core negative beliefs clients hold about themselves (e.g., "I'm unlovable," "I'm stupid"), often rooted in both relationship dynamics and personal history. 6. **Stage 1 vs. Stage 2 DAMs**: In Stage 1, DAMs are often externalized (what the partner thinks of them), while in Stage 2, the focus shifts to when clients start to believe these messages about themselves. 7. **Experiential Depth**: Effective Step 5 work requires therapists to stay with clients in their pain, facilitating deep limbic (emotional) experiences rather than just cognitive insight. 8. **Therapist’s Role**: Therapists must be willing to "walk into the darkness" with clients, maintaining a non-anxious, present stance to help clients feel safe enough to explore their deepest fears. 9. **Partner Acceptance and Reaching for Needs**: After accessing DAMs, the process moves toward helping the partner accept these vulnerable parts and supporting the client in reaching for comfort and connection. 10. **Patience and Repetition**: Deepening and accessing DAMs is a repetitive, patient process—therapists may need to revisit and assemble the experience multiple times before clients can fully articulate and share their pain. Let me know if you’d like a more detailed breakdown of any specific section! To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, we both share how we help our clients transition into the qualitatively different experience of stage two. James shares his informed consent speech, and Ryan shares his building of the safety platform.  To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Join Dr. James Hawkins, Dr. Ryan Rana, and special guest George Faller as they dive deep into the art of therapeutic pivoting. Discover how skilled therapists navigate moments of client openness, transform interventions, and create powerful therapeutic breakthroughs beyond traditional block management. Show Notes: Explore the nuanced concept of clinical pivoting in Emotionally Focused Therapy Learn how to recognize and leverage moments of client openness Understand the importance of intentional therapeutic decision-making Insights from experienced EFT trainers on reading client emotional states Practical strategies for deepening therapeutic connections Key Takeaways: Pivoting isn't just about managing blocks; it's about creating opportunities Attunement drives therapeutic intervention choices Therapists can become more intentional by understanding their moment-to-moment decision-making Special Announcement: Join the presenters at the SV Focus Lab, September 11-13, 2025, in Fayetteville, Arkansas (hybrid event) to dive deeper into these concepts! Recommended for: EFT therapists, counselors, and relationship specialists looking to enhance their clinical skills and therapeutic flexibility. Link for $50 discount to Focus Lab https://www.svfocuslab.com/leadingedge To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Join Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Rana as they dive deep into the nuanced world of Stage 2 in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In this illuminating episode, they unpack the critical transition from Stage 1 to Stage 2, providing therapists with a comprehensive guide to understanding when and how to help couples progress in their therapeutic journey. Using their innovative SAFE acronym, they provide practical insights into assessing client readiness, deepening vulnerability, and creating transformative therapeutic experiences. Episode Outline: Introduction SV Focus Lab invitation Podcast mission and purpose Importance of continuous learning in EFT Stage 2 Overview Common misconceptions about Stage 2 Challenges therapists face in transitioning The need for nuanced understanding SAFE Acronym Breakdown S - See the Cycle Cognitive and experiential awareness Understanding interpersonal impact A - Access Vulnerability Depth of emotional exploration Balancing client capacity F - Flexible Responses Adapting to partner's protective moves Demonstrating relational safety E - Experiential Corrections Importance of repeated corrective experiences Assessing readiness for Stage 2 Practical Applications Assessment techniques Therapeutic strategies Warning signs and opportunities Conclusion Invitation for further learning Call to action for therapists Key Takeaways: Understanding Stage 2 is about nuanced, patient therapeutic work Clients must demonstrate readiness through multiple experiences Therapists must balance pushing boundaries while respecting client capacity To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Chad Imhoff as they dive deep into the heart of what makes a great therapist - your humanity. Discover how embracing your emotional experiences can transform your professional practice, reduce burnout, and create more meaningful connections with clients. Therapists are humans first - your emotional responses are a tool, not a hindrance Learn the TEMPO and RAVE techniques for emotional regulation Understand how recognizing your own triggers can improve client care Explore the balance between professional skills and personal authenticity Practical strategies for integrating your humanity into therapeutic practice To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this profound exploration of grief, Dr. Tal Padeh (ICEEFT Trainer, Israel EFT Center) reveals the transformative power of emotional connection. Through the lens of Emotionally Focused Therapy, we discover how grief can be a pathway to deeper understanding, love, and healing. Join us as we honor the complexity of loss and the human capacity to process pain with compassion and resilience. Another special treat, Nicola joined and added another layer of experience to this interview.  Grief is a natural human experience that requires a safe, compassionate space to process. Encountering loss involves recognizing what cannot be replaced and honoring the depth of emotional pain Couples can either be pushed apart or drawn closer through shared grief experiences. Grief is not something to "get over," but a journey of continued connection and love with one's own experience, accompanied by the support of others.  Cultural and personal defenses can block grief processing, but therapeutic support can help navigate these barriers to convert them into beautiful opportunities for sacred experience.  To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this powerful episode of the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Drs. Ryan Reyna and James Hawkins dive deep into the critical challenge therapists face when entering couples sessions without a strategic approach. They explore the pitfalls of entering therapy unprepared and provide practical insights for maintaining therapeutic effectiveness. Conversation Outline: The Therapist's Challenge Emotional complexity of couples therapy Sacrifices therapists make in helping distressed relationships Importance of professional preparedness Risks of Entering Sessions Without a Plan Potential for therapist triangulation Tendency to mediate instead of facilitating healing Danger of getting caught in reactive cycles Strategic Therapeutic Approach Understanding the couple's emotional "muscle" Developing a flexible, adaptive therapeutic plan Focusing on attachment patterns rather than surface conflicts Emotional Regulation Strategies Preparing therapist's nervous system Recognizing and interrupting destructive interaction patterns Creating safety through structured intervention Closing Summary: Your preparedness, empathy, and commitment create a transformative space where healing becomes possible—one vulnerable moment at a time. Remember: In the landscape of human relationships, you are not just a therapist, but a skilled navigator helping couples rediscover their fundamental connection. Upcoming events, if you would like to train with James or Ryan… You can do a joint Core Skills (Colorado) with Lisa J. Palmer-Olsen & Dr. James Hawkins. Core Skills Modules 1 and 2 will be held October 8-10, 2025, and Core Skills Modules 3 and 4 will be held January 7-9, 2026. You can register at https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado. October 15-18, 2025, you can do an Externship with James in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can register at https://www.counseloregon.com. You can train with Ryan, as well as George Faller, doing a live and some time with James, at the annual Arkansas EFT Center externship. July 29-August 1, 2025, in person, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship We would like to invite everyone to come hang out and learn with the SV team at the first-ever SV Focus Lab. This is an advanced, EFCT training intending to push the edge with a focus on nuance in application, illuminating EFT and Sue’s incredible model.” You can learn more and register by going to https://www.svfocuslab.com. Leading edge listeners who register before July 1 with the code svfocuslab.com/leadingedge get a 10% discount. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. Summary: In this episode of the Leading Edge EFT Podcast, Dr. James Hawkins and his wife Nicola explore two critical questions from EFT therapists about navigating complex couple therapy moments. The discussion focuses on validation techniques, managing partner reactions during therapeutic interventions, and the nuanced art of creating emotional safety in couples therapy. Key Topics: Validation in EFT: Validating attachment functions, not harmful behaviors Balancing validation between partners Recognizing the underlying emotional needs behind challenging behaviors Therapeutic Enactments: Navigating client resistance to sharing emotions Helping clients express vulnerable feelings in new ways Understanding the emotional landscape behind repeated communication patterns Action Items: Explore validation techniques that honor both partners' emotional experiences Practice creating safety when challenging client interaction patterns Consider attending upcoming EFT training opportunities Memorable Quote: "You can earn the right to challenge after first meeting your client with validation." Upcoming events, if you would like to train with James or Ryan… You can do a joint Core Skills (Colorado) with Lisa J. Palmer-Olsen & Dr. James Hawkins. Core Skills Modules 1 and 2 will be held October 8-10, 2025, and Core Skills Modules 3 and 4 will be held January 7-9, 2026. You can register at https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado. October 15-18, 2025, you can do an Externship with James in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can register at https://www.counseloregon.com. You can train with Ryan, as well as George Faller, doing a live and some time with James, at the annual Arkansas EFT Center externship. July 29-August 1, 2025, in person, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship We would like to invite everyone to come hang out and learn with the SV team at the first-ever SV Focus Lab. This is an advanced, EFCT training intending to push the edge with a focus on nuance in application, illuminating EFT and Sue’s incredible model.” You can learn more and register by going to https://www.svfocuslab.com. Leading edge listeners who register before July 1 with the code svfocuslab.com/leadingedge get a 10% discount. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. This podcast episode focuses on the critical concept of "timing" in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), specifically when and how therapists should "play it" during therapeutic sessions. Hosts Dr. James Hawkins and Dr. Ryan Reyna discuss the importance of recognizing and responding to vulnerable emotions and caregiving moments in couples therapy. Main Points: Key Ingredients of a Secure Bond Vulnerable, live emotion Accessible, responsive, and engaged (ARE) caregiving system Timing Considerations Earlier in therapy: Play moments quickly (less room for vulnerability) Later in therapy: More space to let emotions develop Clinical decision-making about when to intervene Critical Moments to "Play It" When vulnerable emotion emerges When a caregiving response is present Before the moment passes or the cycle interrupts vulnerability Risks of Not Playing the Moment Clients may exit the vulnerable space Emotional opportunities can be lost Cycle of interaction can revert to negative patterns Practical Advice Catch and recognize emotional moments Make clinical decisions about intervention Prioritize creating space for emotional connection The episode includes a role-play demonstration illustrating these principles, emphasizing the importance of therapist attunement and timely intervention. Upcoming events, if you would like to train with James or Ryan… You can do a joint Core Skills (Colorado) with Lisa J. Palmer-Olsen & Dr. James Hawkins. Core Skills Modules 1 and 2 will be held October 8-10, 2025, and Core Skills Modules 3 and 4 will be held January 7-9, 2026. You can register at https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado. October 15-18, 2025, you can do an Externship with James in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can register at https://www.counseloregon.com. You can train with Ryan, as well as George Faller, doing a live and some time with James, at the annual Arkansas EFT Center externship. July 29-August 1, 2025, in person, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship We would like to invite everyone to come hang out and learn with the SV team at the first-ever SV Focus Lab. This is an advanced, EFCT training intending to push the edge with a focus on nuance in application, illuminating EFT and Sue’s incredible model.” You can learn more and register by going to https://www.svfocuslab.com. Leading edge listeners who register before July 1 with the code svfocuslab.com/leadingedge get a 10% discount. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Discover the transformative power of addressing client resistance as a protective behavior rather than a barrier. Learn how to replace this resistance with corrective emotional experiences that foster deeper connections. The hosts dive into the importance of understanding emotional dysregulation and creating a supportive therapeutic environment. They emphasize the role of vulnerability and clear communication in navigating client emotions, ultimately leading to healing and growth. Trust the attachment map, and embrace resistance as a doorway to deeper engagement.