Yael Schonbrun

In this engaging conversation, Yael Schonbrun, an assistant professor at Brown University and author of 'Work, Parent, Thrive', tackles the complexities of juggling work and parenthood. She discusses the '20% paradox', where parents feel overwhelmed by their commitments and the importance of setting boundaries. Schonbrun explores the concept of work-family enrichment, highlighting how different roles can contribute to personal fulfillment. She also offers strategies for aligning ambition with parenting responsibilities, aiming for a more balanced and satisfying life.

Working parenthood is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes the stress of toggling between family and professional roles can feel like too much! And... it can also be a meaningful source of joy, inspiration, and creativity. In this extra special episode, we talk to our very own co-host, Dr. Yael Schonbrun about her new book, Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much). Yael draws on psychology research as well as her own experience as a working mom of three, to offer ideas that will help even the most stressed of working parents! This book banishes the idea that the key to ultimate working parenthood is the ability to do it all. Instead, the key is to learn how these roles, together, help you thrive.Listen and Learn: ●      How Yael’s own experience as a hard-working mother of three informed her ideas for her book. ●      How to shift from a “work family conflict mindset” to a “work family enrichment mindset”●      Why interruptions that feel really annoying might actually be good for you. ●      Whether or not finding perfect work-life balance is a realistic goal (spoiler alert: it’s not)●      The role of values in making choices about work and family ●      How to deal with parental guilt effectively●      How working parenthood offers opportunities for growth●      About how cooking has offered Jill a lesson in when to grit and when to quit●      The power of rest, and what Yael is up to on her tech-free Saturday sabbath days Resources:●      Get your copy of Work, Parent, Thrive! ●      Check out Yael’s webpage and her POTC episodes! ●      Read Yael’s New York Times article on working parenthood, and other media appearances in the Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly. ●      Grab your copy of all our favorite books at bookshop.org/shop/offtheclockpsych.●      Check out Debbie, Yael, and Jill’s websites to access their offerings, sign up for their newsletters, buy their books, and more! About Yael: Dr. Yael Schonbrun is a co-host of the greatest podcast of all times, Psychologists Off the Clock, and that’s all you need to know about her. Just kidding! Yael Schonbrun, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist, assistant professor at Brown University, co-host of Psychologists Off the Clock, and mother of three. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Colorado, Boulder, and completed her postgraduate training at Brown University. Yael’s academic research explores the interaction between relationship problems and mental health conditions. She has authored the book Work, Parent Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much), as well as chapters in several books and dozens of scientific articles. In her private practice, writing, and podcasting, Yael uses evidence-based science to help individuals and couples learn to manage work, parenting, and marriage in more effective and fulfilling ways. Yael’s writing on work, parenting, and relationships has appeared in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Greater Good Science Center, Behavioral Scientist, Kveller, Lilith Magazine, The Wise Brain Bulletin, Psychology Today, and Motherly. You can follow her on Twitter, where she posts about the science and practice of work and family. Related Episodes: -       24. Choosing Both: Straddling Meaningful Career and Parenthood with Yael Schonbrun-       33. Couples with Young Children: Relationship Challenges and Strategies with Yael Schonbrun-       83. The Tao of Work and Family Balance with Tod Perry and Carl Totton-       174. How to Work and Parent Mindfully with Lori Mihalich-Levin-       211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz-       267. You are Not a Horrible Parent with Carla Naumburg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest this week is Dr. Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist with an excellent new book entitled Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much). This episode is part 2 in a 4-part series on parenting. As you’ll hear in our discussion, Yael has a gift for both/and thinking. She acknowledges the conflict between our roles as parents and people who work for pay, and also underscores the ways that these roles can be mutually enriching.

Working and parenting often feel like being pulled in two different directions. But what if we could reframe our thinking and actually appreciate that our experiences in one role can enhance the quality of life in the other. We explore the ways you can reframe your mindset with author and podcaster Yael Schonbrun. “If we’re able to see that there are opportunities for our roles to feed each other, then we're more likely to to access those experiences and benefit more from them.” ~ Yael Schonbrun, Episode 346 Yael Schonbrun is an assistant professor of psychology at Brown University, a family therapist, and co-host of the podcast Psychologists Off the Clock. In her new book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much) Yael offers practical strategies from clinical psychology and social science to better manage the conflict and enhance enrichment in work, parenting, and the balance of these meaningful roles.  Regular listeners will have noticed that co-host of the show, Tim Houlihan is unfortunately off sick for a few episodes of Behavioral Grooves. So on this episode, producer of the show, Mary Kaliff, joins Kurt Nelson for the discussion with Yael. Listeners can jump on social media (Twitter: @THoulihan or LinkedIn) and wish Tim a speedy recovery. We hope this episode provides you with some practical tools to help you work, parent and thrive. If you do enjoy Behavioral Grooves, please write a short review of the show on your podcast player. Just sharing a short sentence about why you like the show can make it easier for other people to find the podcast.   Topics  (3:32) Welcome and speed round questions. (8:33) Why parenting is difficult even for experts. (12:07) How a mindset shift can change how we view our parenting and our work. (16:00) The questions you can ask yourself to change your mindset. (19:22) How Yael tapped into her own personal values during a difficult time. (24:46) Pains live right alongside gains. (29:32) How Jewish kibbutz communities raised children. (32:42) Why we need to quit the things that aren’t working. (36:36) How to nurture more independence in our children.  (40:03) The 3 components of self compassion. (45:34) Modeling the behavior that you want your kids to develop. (46:54) What music would Yael take to a desert island? (48:54) Grooving Session with Kurt and Mary on working, parenting and thriving.   © 2023 Behavioral Grooves   Links  Yael Schonbrun: https://yaelschonbrun.com/  Yael’s book, “Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like Too Much)”: https://amzn.to/3IVEzNk  Growth mindset, Carol Dweck: “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”: https://amzn.to/3J7V9tD  Episode 327, A Proven Way Expectations Can Unlock A More Positive Life | David Robson: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/expectations-and-a-positive-life/  Episode 345, The Tools You Need To Embrace Uncertainty | Nathan and Susannah Harmon Furr: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/tools-to-embrace-uncertainty/  Episode 342: Why Resilience Is More Than Just Bouncing Back | Gabriella Rosen Kellerman MD: https://behavioralgrooves.com/episode/resilience-more-than-bouncing-back/    Musical Links  Weird Al Yankovic “Another One Rides The Bus”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79QxturUolo  Taylor Swift “Midnight Rain”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Odh9ddPUkEY 

In this discussion, Dr. Yael Schonbrun, a clinical psychologist and author with a focus on healthy relationships, explores how parenthood reshapes marital dynamics. She highlights the common decline in marital satisfaction after having kids and offers insights on improving communication amid parenting challenges. With practical tips like regular relationship check-ins and recognizing emotional needs, she emphasizes that couples can navigate this new landscape together. Expecting parents will find valuable advice on maintaining intimacy and harmony during this transformative journey.