Dr. Wendy Troxel, a renowned sleep and behavioral scientist, discusses how sleep affects relationships. She reveals that 61% of adults share a bed, illustrating the social dynamics of sleep. Troxel explores how historical sleep practices have evolved and how modern disruptions like snoring and differing preferences can create relational challenges. Emphasizing the importance of communication, she encourages couples to understand their own chronotypes. Her research advocates for tailored strategies to enhance both sleep quality and relationship health.

Dr. Wendy Troxel, a clinical psychologist and sleep expert, returns to share her insights on the intersection of sleep and relationships. She highlights how open communication can help couples navigate sleep disruptions while offering creative strategies, like using the term "slangry" to manage sleep-deprived moods. Dr. Troxel debunks myths such as the idea that sleeping apart indicates a troubled relationship and emphasizes understanding sleep preferences to enhance harmony. Ultimately, prioritizing sleep can lead to stronger, more connected partnerships.

Vanessa isn’t a night owl. Yet, often, you can find her lying awake desperately trying to turn off her brain. When her partner stays over she often resorts to the couch just to get some rest. On this episode of How To!, co-host Carvell Wallace brings in Dr. Wendy Troxel. She is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in sleep medicine and the author of the book, Sharing the Covers: Every Couple’s Guide to Better Sleep. On part one of a two part series—Dr. Troxel explains how insomnia disrupts sleep, how to avoid it, and why a good night’s rest starts with your environment.If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Beat the Dreaded Midday Slump.”Do you have a problem that’s keeping you up at night? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, Kevin Bendis, and Jabari Butler.If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wendy Troxel, an internationally recognized sleep scientist and author, shares insights on the vital role of sleep in relationships and mental health. She discusses how poor sleep affects couples and suggests creating a 'sleep alliance' for better harmony. Troxel highlights the sleep crisis among teens, advocating for later school start times to improve their well-being. Practical strategies for enhancing sleep quality, including open communication about preferences, are offered to help couples and families thrive.

When it comes to advice around getting better sleep, nearly all of it is directed at the individual sleeper who feels they've got room to improve: Here's what you might be doing wrong; here's how to straighten out your sleep hygiene. Yet for the millions of people who are sleeping with someone else in their bed, this advice leaves out a huge elephant in the room — the other person sharing your sheets. As my guest today argues, a shared bed means shared sleep issues that need to be tackled with shared solutions. Her name is Dr. Wendy Troxel, she's a clinical psychologist, a sleep specialist, and the author of Sharing the Covers: Every Couple's Guide to Better Sleep. We begin our conversation by discussing how sleep not only affects people's relationships, but people's relationships affect their sleep, and how this bidirectional dynamic can become either a vicious or virtuous cycle, depending on the quality of sleep that a couple gets. We then talk about the various issues couples deal with in sharing a bed, from snoring to a mismatch in temperature preferences. We also get into the complications that come with bringing kids into the picture, and Wendy gives her take on the issue of family co-sleeping. From there we turn to solutions for shared sleep problems, and dig into the idea of sleeping in separate beds. Wendy unpacks the way the taboo around separate sleeping has waxed and waned throughout history, why it works for some couples, and the options for implementing it, from sleeping in separate bedrooms to a more moderate approach called the "Scandinavian Method." Wendy also gives advice to couples who want to continue to share the same bed, but struggle with the fact that one person is a morning bird and the other is a night owl.