#78 - Sleep & Relationships with Dr. Wendy Troxel

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Jul 29, 2024

Dr. Wendy Troxel, a renowned sleep and behavioral scientist, discusses how sleep affects relationships. She reveals that 61% of adults share a bed, illustrating the social dynamics of sleep. Troxel explores how historical sleep practices have evolved and how modern disruptions like snoring and differing preferences can create relational challenges. Emphasizing the importance of communication, she encourages couples to understand their own chronotypes. Her research advocates for tailored strategies to enhance both sleep quality and relationship health.

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INSIGHT

Shifting societal norms around co-sleeping

Societal views on co-sleeping have changed throughout history, from communal to separate to stigmatized.
Dr. Troxel emphasizes that there's no one-size-fits-all approach to couples' sleeping arrangements.

INSIGHT

Common sleep disruptors in relationships

Snoring, temperature preferences, chronotypes, and work schedules can all affect couples' sleep.
Open communication is crucial to managing sleep compatibility.

ADVICE

Navigating difficult sleep conversations

Have sleep-related conversations when well-rested, not during moments of sleep disruption or grogginess.
Use "I" statements to express how sleep issues affect you personally, fostering mutual understanding.

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The Science of Shared Sleep: Dr. Wendy Troxel on Bedtime and Relationships

This week, Matt is joined by Dr. Wendy Troxel the celebrated sleep and behavioral scientist whose book, Sharing the Covers: Every Couple's Guide to Better Sleep, highlights the significant impact of sleep on relationships. Revealing that 61% of adults sleep with a partner, Dr. Troxel emphasizes the often-overlooked social aspect of sleep and its implications for couple dynamics. As she notes, sleep arrangements have historically varied widely, from communal sleeping in the Middle Ages to separate beds in the Victorian era for hygiene and status reasons. These changing practices reflect evolving societal norms and beliefs about intimacy and health.

Troxel also explores how modern sleep disruptions, such as snoring, differing sleep preferences, and work schedules, can affect relationships. She stresses the importance of open communication and mutual understanding of chronotypes—whether one is a morning lark or a night owl—in managing sleep compatibility. Recognizing and addressing these issues can lead to better sleep quality and, consequently, a healthier relationship. As you will hear, Dr. Troxel's research underscores that there's no one-size-fits-all solution, and advocates for personalized strategies to improve both sleep and relationship health.

Please note that Matt is not a medical doctor, and none of the content in this podcast should be considered medical advice in any way, shape, or form, nor prescriptive in any way.

Links:

Dr. Troxel’s Website (including social media, Sharing the Covers, TED and TEDx Talks): https://www.wendytroxel.com/

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