Everett Worthington

When we regret our past, it can feel like we’re incapable of changing our future. But it may be our past “mistakes” that help us realize there is room to evolve. In the finale episode of How to Start Over, we explore how regret can be a catalyst of change, what holds us back from self-forgiveness, and how to reconcile our past mistakes—and move forward for good. Conversations with Shai Davidai, an assistant professor at the Columbia Business School, and forgiveness expert Everett Worthington help us identify whether regret hinders our growth or serves as a catalyst of change.This episode was produced by Rebecca Rashid and is hosted by Olga Khazan. Editing by A.C. Valdez and Claudine Ebeid. Fact-check by Ena Alvarado. Engineering by Matthew Simonson. Special thanks to Adrienne LaFrance, executive editor of The Atlantic. Be part of How to Start Over. Write to us at howtopodcast@theatlantic.com. To support this podcast, and get unlimited access to all of The Atlantic’s journalism, become a subscriber.Music by FLYIN (“Being Nostalgic”), JADED (“Blue Steel”), Mindme (“Anxiety [Instrumental Version]”), and Timothy Infinite (“Rapid Years”).Click here to listen to more full-length episodes in The Atlantic’s How To series. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Everett Worthington, a leading researcher on forgiveness, and Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas, a neuroscientist from UC Berkeley, delve into the transformative power of forgiveness. They discuss the REACH model for emotional forgiveness and its mental health benefits. Listeners learn how forgiveness reshapes the brain, engages empathy, and enhances emotional regulation. Emiliana highlights the physical toll of holding grudges, while both guests stress that forgiveness liberates us, allowing for personal growth and meaningful connections.

Joining the discussion is Everett Worthington, a Commonwealth Professor Emeritus and clinical psychologist renowned for his extensive research on forgiveness. He shares his personal journey of forgiving his mother’s murderer, highlighting the complexity of public acts of forgiveness. The conversation explores the 'injustice gap' between forgiveness and remorse, contrasting quick forgiveness with longstanding grudges. Worthington also offers practical steps towards forgiveness and discusses decisional versus emotional forgiveness, revealing profound insights on healing and mercy.