Best of the Spectator Holy Smoke: what does it mean 'to forgive'?
Oct 14, 2025
Joining the discussion is Everett Worthington, a Commonwealth Professor Emeritus and clinical psychologist renowned for his extensive research on forgiveness. He shares his personal journey of forgiving his mother’s murderer, highlighting the complexity of public acts of forgiveness. The conversation explores the 'injustice gap' between forgiveness and remorse, contrasting quick forgiveness with longstanding grudges. Worthington also offers practical steps towards forgiveness and discusses decisional versus emotional forgiveness, revealing profound insights on healing and mercy.
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A Son's First Response To His Mother's Murder
- Everett Worthington describes learning his mother was murdered on New Year's Eve and viewing the horrific crime scene in their family home.
- He recalls immediate rage and a wish for violent revenge before turning to forgiveness that night.
Forgiveness Came Within 24 Hours
- Worthington says he forgave the young man the night of the murder, an outcome he calls unusual for himself.
- He attributes that immediate forgiveness to what he calls a work of mercy and grace from God.
The 'Injustice Gap' Shapes Forgiveness
- Worthington introduces an 'injustice gap' model: perceived injustice size affects ability to forgive.
- Apologies, remorse or amends reduce the gap and make forgiveness easier while denials enlarge it.