The Science of Letting Go

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Nov 6, 2025

Dr. Everett Worthington, a leading researcher on forgiveness, and Dr. Emiliana Simon-Thomas, a neuroscientist from UC Berkeley, delve into the transformative power of forgiveness. They discuss the REACH model for emotional forgiveness and its mental health benefits. Listeners learn how forgiveness reshapes the brain, engages empathy, and enhances emotional regulation. Emiliana highlights the physical toll of holding grudges, while both guests stress that forgiveness liberates us, allowing for personal growth and meaningful connections.

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INSIGHT

Health Benefits Of Forgiveness

Forgiveness lowers stress and improves mental and physical health according to research mentioned in the episode.
It helps immune and cardiovascular systems and eases anxiety and depression.

ADVICE

Forgive Without Reconciling

Remember forgiveness does not require reconciliation or restarting a relationship.
Use forgiveness to change your present feelings about an unchangeable past.

ADVICE

Follow The REACH Steps

Use the REACH steps to move from hurt to emotional forgiveness: recall, empathize, give an altruistic gift, commit, and hold on.
Apply these steps to replace negative emotions with other-oriented compassion.

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Discover how forgiveness reshapes the brain, eases the body, and helps us move forward with greater compassion and freedom.

Summary: Forgiveness isn’t about forgetting or excusing—it’s about releasing the grip of resentment so we can make room for peace. Research shows it also engages empathy, strengthens emotional regulation, and helps us reconnect with what truly matters. In this episode of The Science of Happiness, we look at how forgiveness transforms not just relationships, but our overall well-being.

How To Do This Practice:

Acknowledge the hurt: Be honest about what happened and how it affected you—avoiding or denying the pain can keep it alive.
Empathize with the other person: Try to see their humanity and what might have led them to act as they did, without excusing the harm.
Choose to forgive: Decide, for your own peace, to let go of resentment and stop letting the past control your emotions.
Offer forgiveness as a gift: Imagine extending understanding or compassion toward the person, even if they never apologize.
Commit to your choice: Write it down, share it, or reflect on it as a reminder of your intention when old feelings resurface.
Practice holding on to peace: When reminders or emotions arise, return to calm, compassion, or gratitude—strengthening forgiveness over time.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

DR. EVERETT WORTHINGTON is one of the world's leading experts on forgiveness.

Learn more about Dr. Everett Worthington here: https://www.evworthington-forgiveness.com/

DR. EMILIANA SIMON-THOMAS is a neuroscientist and Director of Science at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center.

Learn more about Emiliana R. Simon-Thomas here: https://tinyurl.com/2z7mhjbm

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

The Contagious Power of Compassion: https://tinyurl.com/3x7w2s5s

Nine Steps to Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/vb7kk5ky

Why Compassion Requires Vulnerability: https://tinyurl.com/yxw4uhpf

Related Happiness Breaks:

A Science-Backed Path to Self-Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/yh2a5urt

Make Uncertainty Part of the Process: https://tinyurl.com/234u5ds7

A Note to Self on Forgiveness: https://tinyurl.com/y53tkn87

This episode was supported by a generous grant from the Templeton World Charity Foundation as part of a Greater Good Science Center project on "Putting the Science of Forgiveness into Practice."

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at happinesspod@berkeley.edu or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/566t8udf