Curious Minds at Work CM 268: David Robson on Overcoming Loneliness
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Jun 17, 2024 Award-winning science writer David Robson discusses overcoming loneliness by understanding cognitive biases and building social connections. Topics include shared reality, evolution of social pain neurons, navigating social relationships, self-expansion, gratitude, and human social potential.
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Shared Reality Is The Core Of Connection
- Shared reality is the feeling that another person experiences the world the same way you do and underpins deep connection.
- Neural synchrony and mutual understanding drive altruism and identity blending in close relationships.
Loneliness Feels Like Physical Pain
- Humans evolved a social pain system that warns when social ties are threatened, similar to physical pain.
- Loneliness neurons increase drive for connection and remain active until social needs are met.
Ambivalence Is More Toxic Than Overt Negativity
- Not all relationships benefit us: supportive, aversive, and ambivalent ties have distinct effects.
- Ambivalent ties create chronic uncertainty and stress, sometimes worse than overtly negative relationships.