Relationship Advice How To Find Safe Attachment with Jessica Baum
Oct 8, 2025
Jessica Baum, a licensed therapist and author specializing in attachment theory, delves into her personal journey through anxiety and depression. She redefines codependency as anxious attachment, emphasizing the need for dependable relationships to heal. Jessica shares insights on 'anchors'—crucial support figures that foster safety and co-regulation. She highlights the importance of slowing down relationships to avoid repeating childhood patterns and explains how genuine connection can trigger discomfort while paving the way for earned security.
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Codependency Is An Attachment Pattern
- Jessica Baum links codependency to anxious attachment and attachment wounds rather than a moral failing.
- She argues cultural praise of independence clashes with our biological need for relational dependence.
Find And Use Anchors
- Find dependable people (anchors) who can provide presence, safety, and co-regulation before expecting internal change.
- Use one consistent, nonjudgmental relationship to reorient your nervous system toward earned security.
Safety Gets Internalized
- Our nervous systems internalize other people's safety via mirror neurons and repeated experience.
- Over time, external anchors become internal resources that support secure attachment.
