Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson The Psychology of Resentment: Over-Functioning, Repression, and Repair
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Oct 6, 2025 Unpacking the hidden threat of resentment in relationships, the discussion outlines how perceived injustice and helplessness fuse into a toxic cocktail. Strategies for navigating resentment include effective communication and claiming personal agency. Distinguishing between legitimate grievances and harmful rumination, the conversation emphasizes clarity and negotiation as key tools. When repair isn't an option, a five-step plan for managing unresolvable resentment offers practical guidance. Ultimately, the insights aim to transform resentment into understanding and proactive steps forward.
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Resentment Is Moral Plus Helplessness
- Resentment combines perceived injustice with helplessness and a conviction that you're right.
- That moral certainty makes resentment sticky and hard to resolve.
Planner Who Secretly Resents Doing It
- Forrest describes being the friend who plans outings and then resents carrying the load he chose.
- He recognized he could opt out but kept doing it and then stewed in frustration.
Helplessness Is A Core Fuel
- Resentment requires both a sense of being wronged and a perceived inability to fix it.
- Perceived helplessness fuels the persistent, internal replay of grievance.
