Hear a divorced couple, both divorce lawyers, discuss their amicable separation and the emotional complexities of co-parenting. They highlight the importance of communication and cooperation while navigating new relationships and shifting desires. As they redefine intimacy post-divorce, they delve into the impact of cultural expectations on family dynamics. The conversation also touches on the heartbreak of pet loss, reflecting on the deep bonds that shape our connections in unexpected ways.
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Unfulfilled Promise
The wife, a divorce lawyer, felt betrayed by her husband for not moving back to her home state after 10 years.
This was a significant point of contention in their marriage and contributed to their divorce.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Moving Back and Forth
After the divorce, they moved to the wife's home state, but found it culturally unsuitable for their son.
They then moved back, prioritizing their son's upbringing.
insights INSIGHT
Affair as a Symptom
The husband's affair was a symptom of larger issues, like the disagreement about moving and having another child.
The wife's parents also divorced due to infidelity, making the affair a significant turning point.
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In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.
The state of affairs
Rethinking Infidelity
Esther Perel
In this book, Esther Perel delves into the complex and often misunderstood topic of infidelity. She weaves real-life case stories with psychological and cultural analysis to understand why people cheat, even in happy marriages. Perel argues that affairs can provide a unique window into modern relationships, revealing our expectations, desires, and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. The book offers practical advice on how couples can heal from infidelity and potentially grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences.
They're amicably divorced divorce lawyers, carving out a new kind of relationship after the end of their marriage. Esther reframes their situation and proposes a radical solution.
What you are about to hear is a series Esther calls The Arc of Love. Each session centers around a couple’s story. Whether it’s issues of trust and betrayal, care and aggression, closeness and distance, repair and rupture, polyamory or monogamy. The episodes can be listened to in any order you want but were curated with a beginning, middle, and end.
For the first time on the U.S. stage, Esther invites you to an evening unlike any other. Join her as she shines a light on the cultural shifts transforming relationships and helps us rethink how we connect, how we desire – and even how we love. To find a city near you, go to https://www.estherperel.com/tour2024
Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel 
