The Angry Therapist Podcast Why We Repeat Patterns — And How to Heal Through Relationship
Dec 15, 2025
Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald, a clinical therapist and expert on relationship patterns, dives into the reasons behind our repetitive relational behaviors. She reveals how early experiences shape adult attraction, often leading us back to familiar yet harmful dynamics. The discussion highlights how healing occurs in relationships, not isolation, and emphasizes using triggers as opportunities for growth. Together with host John Kim, they explore strategies for choosing grounded partners and navigating emotional triggers with compassion.
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Why We Repeat Familiar Patterns
- Repeating relationship patterns often happens because they feel like home and avoid confronting origin stories.
- Trauma repetition can also be the system's attempt to get a different outcome through another opportunity.
Chasing Edge From Childhood Wounds
- John Kim describes chasing dopamine through edge-seeking behaviors rooted in childhood belonging wounds.
- He links performance-based validation from immigration-era fitting in to adult attraction to extremes.
Gauge Compulsion Versus Healthy Expression
- If your behavior is compulsive, track when it's healthy self-expression versus harmful repetition.
- Then adjust your relationships to include more grounded partners or change interaction dials accordingly.
