Therapist Uncensored Podcast In Each Other’s Care: Building & Sustaining Healthy Relationships with Stan Tatkin – Replay – (288)
Jan 6, 2026
Dr. Stan Tatkin, a clinician and co-founder of the PACT Institute, shares invaluable insights on building and sustaining healthy relationships. He discusses the inevitability of conflict and the importance of repair, advocating for secure functioning partnerships that tackle problems together. Tatkin explores the concept of procedural memory, highlighting how attachment styles influence dynamics, even in polyamorous setups. With practical approaches to ensure healthy interdependence, he sheds light on common relationship pitfalls and emphasizes effective communication.
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Face-To-Face Co-Regulation Matters
- Humans co-regulate best face-to-face because visual cues let us error-correct faster.
- Stan Tatkin says this live mutual regulation manages autonomic states and amplifies emotions both positive and negative.
Stage And Correct Conflict Scenes
- Slow down repeating conflict scenes and stage them step-by-step to expose errors.
- Use corrected role-play to create simple alternative actions that change outcomes next time.
Morning Cortisol Fight Example
- Tatkin recounts a real couple who fought each morning over different cortisol patterns at wakeup.
- He staged their morning scene and taught one partner simple timing and phrasing changes that prevented trapping and reduced threat.
Clinician, author, researcher, PACT developer, and co-founder of the PACT Institute. Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at UCLA, David Geffen School of Medicine. He maintains a private practice in Southern California and leads PACT programs in
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