Explore the origins of people-pleasing and practical tactics to distance ourselves from it. Personal anecdotes reveal the impact of people-pleasing, the dangers it poses, and the importance of setting boundaries. Strategies for politely saying no and setting boundaries with kindness are also discussed.
Break the cycle of people-pleasing by being honest with yourself, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care.
Find a balance between people-pleasing and rudeness through clear and kind communication, setting boundaries, and being assertive.
Deep dives
Setting Boundaries and Breaking the Cycle
Breaking the cycle of people-pleasing can be challenging, especially when it feels ingrained in your behavior. Start by asking yourself if you genuinely want to do something and be honest about your true desires. Take the time to get to know yourself and identify what truly refills you. Set practical boundaries, such as blocking off time for yourself on your calendar, and remember that you may disappoint others, but you are not harming them. Prioritize your own well-being and learn to say no when necessary.
Balancing People-Pleasing and Rudeness
The key to finding a balance between people-pleasing and rudeness lies in clear and kind communication. Avoid being rude by focusing on clear and concise delivery, making it about yourself rather than the other person. Choose your tone carefully, as being apologetic can lead others to believe that you should feel guilty. Remember that clear boundaries are respected, and by setting them, you show others how to treat you.
People-Pleasing in the Workplace
The dynamics of people-pleasing may differ in a work environment, as fulfilling job responsibilities can often require pleasing managers and colleagues. However, it is important to find a balance and set boundaries. Practice clear and kind communication to express your limitations and prioritize your own well-being. Sometimes, enacting subtle cues like physically standing up and walking towards the door can help signal the end of a conversation and create closure.
Understanding the Difference Between People-Pleasing and Selflessness
While people-pleasing and selflessness may appear similar, the distinction lies in intention and well-being. Selflessness comes from a genuine desire to help others, while people-pleasing stems from a fear of disappointment or a need for validation. Reflect on the root cause behind your people-pleasing tendencies and work towards putting your own well-being first. Remember that self-care and maintaining your own boundaries enable you to better serve and care for others.
People Pleasing. It’s not a question of “if” or “are you” people pleasing but "WHY" are you doing it?
It seems this is something we may all come across at some point in our life.
For me, this is something I took on later in life and am still in the process of “unlearning” that unhealthy habit.
I want us to look into the root of where did this begin in us? I bring in my friend Hannah who talks about how it was taught to her by her culture, while mine came as a response to a deep wound. But, not all origin stories are bad - maybe you just really loved a parent and wanted their validation.
Let’s explore together maybe why you started doing this and then break down some practical baby steps tactics to distance yourself from it.