Punishment Fails ADHD Kids, and This Pool Metaphor Fixes Emotional Chaos with Dr. Tamara Rosier

Mar 31, 2025

Dr. Tamara Rosier, an ADHD expert and author, dives into the complexities of parenting children with ADHD. She reveals why traditional punishments fail and introduces her effective 'Pool Metaphor' for managing emotional outbursts. The discussion highlights the importance of debriefing with kids post-meltdown to foster accountability and resilience. Dr. Rosier also shares strategies to prevent parent burnout and emphasizes prioritizing character development over daily struggles, transforming challenges into growth opportunities for families.

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ADVICE

Parents Must Understand Their ADHD

Parents with ADHD should understand their own ADHD before trying to help their children.
This self-awareness is crucial for effective parenting and emotional regulation.

INSIGHT

Pool Metaphor for Emotions

Emotional dysregulation in ADHD can be understood through the 'Pool Metaphor.'
The pool represents intense emotions, and managing proximity to it helps regulate behavior.

ADVICE

Safety First Then Debrief

Focus first on safety during a child's emotional outburst rather than stopping destructive behavior.
Use the debrief process after the event to teach accountability and problem-solving.

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Learn kind and practical tips to support your ADHD child by downloading the First 3 Chapters of the book for FREE here:https://bit.ly/first_3_chapters

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In this episode of ADHD Kids Can Thrive, host Kate Brownfield speaks with Dr. Tamara Rosier, an ADHD expert, coach, and author, about parenting children with ADHD and how ADHD affects family dynamics.

Dr. Rosier shares her knowledge from her book "You, Me, and Our ADHD Family", immersing into the emotional challenges, parenting strategies, and key mindset shifts needed to create a healthier family environment. From dealing with big emotions to setting boundaries and building resilience, this conversation is packed with valuable guidance for parents dealing with the ADHD journey.

Expect to Learn:

Why punishments and rewards don’t work for children with ADHD and what does.
The "Pool Metaphor" for handling emotional outbursts effectively.
How to debrief with your child after a meltdown to teach accountability and resilience.
Strategies for avoiding parent burnout while raising ADHD children.
The importance of focusing on character development over daily struggles.

In Today’s Episode:

[00:39] - Welcome & Introduction to Guest, Dr. Tamara Rosier

[02:47] - Why Dr. Rosier Wrote "You, Me, and Our ADHD Family"

[03:42] - How ADHD Traits Impact Family Dynamics

[06:27] - Why Parents Must Understand Their Own ADHD First

[10:37] - Managing Big Emotions & Defiant Behaviors in ADHD Kids

[12:42] - The "Pool Metaphor" for Emotional Regulation

[16:31] - How to Keep ADHD Kids Safe During Emotional Outbursts

[22:13] - Do Consequences Work? What ADHD Kids Actually Learn

[26:03] - Preventing Parent Burnout & Managing Energy Levels

[28:05] - Focusing on Character Development Over Perfection

[32:12] - Final Reflections

Connect with Dr. Tamara Rosier:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tamara-rosier-phd/

Follow your Host Kate Brownfield

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-wedlock-brownfield-b0b139

Follow the ADHD Kids Can Thrive Podcast on:

Website: http://www.adhdkidscanthrive.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@Adhdkidscanthrive
Email: adhdkidscanthrive@yahoo.com