How to Have Great Sex For Longevity: The Truth About Orgasms, Masturbation, Desire & Stress with Dr. Rena Malik
Jan 8, 2024
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Dr. Rena Malik, a board-certified urologist, discusses the importance of a healthy sex life for longevity. They talk about low libido, pelvic floor dysfunction, hormone imbalances, and masturbation. Dr. Malik shares advice on increasing sex in busy lives and the science behind sexual health. She also emphasizes the importance of positive communication with partners. Topics include the relationship between sex and longevity, impact of sex on mood, how often to have sex, masturbation as a taboo topic, mental roadblocks, exploring pleasure and positions, and understanding sexual mismatch in relationships.
Good sexual function is indicative of overall health, including vascular, neurological, hormonal, and cognitive well-being.
Open communication about desires and challenges fosters a healthy sexual relationship.
Pelvic floor health is crucial for sexual satisfaction and can be improved through exercises and relaxation techniques.
Engaging the pelvic floor muscles during exercise is important for stability and preventing injury.
Pornography can be a tool for sexual exploration, but it's essential to be mindful of its potential drawbacks.
Deep dives
The Impact of Mental State on Sexual Experience
The podcast emphasizes the importance of being in the right mental state during sex. When individuals bring stress or distractions into the bedroom, it hinders their ability to fully engage and be present. The act of sex requires focus and mindfulness, and climaxing is described as the most mindful state one can experience.
The Connection between Sex and Overall Health
The podcast explores how sexual health is interconnected with overall health. Good sexual function indicates a healthy vascular system, neurological system, hormone balance, and cognitive function. Regular sexual activity and orgasms have various benefits, including better sleep, mood, cardiovascular health, and blood pressure. Research even suggests a correlation between regular ejaculation and a reduced risk of prostate cancer.
The Importance of Communication and Desire in Relationships
The podcast highlights the significance of communication in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship. Openly discussing desires, needs, and any challenges can help improve sexual experiences. The frequency of sex can vary widely among couples, and it's essential to find a balance that satisfies both partners. Masturbation and self-exploration are also encouraged to enhance personal understanding of pleasure and communicate preferences to a partner.
Pelvic Floor Health and Sexual Function
The podcast addresses pelvic floor health as a significant factor in sexual satisfaction for both men and women. Weak pelvic floor muscles can lead to issues such as incontinence, pelvic organ prolapse, and decreased orgasmic intensity. On the other hand, high tone or tense pelvic floor muscles can cause pain during sex, difficulty urinating, and other discomforts. Pelvic floor exercises (Kegels) and relaxation techniques are suggested to address these concerns, while seeking guidance from a pelvic floor physical therapist can offer personalized support.
The importance of engaging the pelvic floor muscles during exercise
Engaging the pelvic floor muscles is crucial during exercise, as they are part of the core muscles. When performing exercises that engage the core, such as squats and deadlifts, it is important to focus on proper breathing and exhaling during exertion. This helps to stabilize the pelvic floor and prevent injury. Breathing correctly and engaging the pelvic floor can strengthen it over time, making exercises more effective for overall fitness and pelvic floor health.
Common issues causing sexual challenges for men
Men commonly experience mental and physical issues that affect their sexual satisfaction. Performance anxiety and psychogenic erectile dysfunction can lead to difficulties getting and maintaining erections. Psychological anxiety can worsen erectile dysfunction even in cases of organic causes. Blood flow issues, neurologic conditions, and hormonal imbalances can also contribute to erectile dysfunction. Premature ejaculation is another common challenge. It is important for men to seek help and understand that these issues can have psychological and physical causes, requiring comprehensive evaluation and potential treatment options.
Factors affecting erectile dysfunction and lifestyle interventions
Various lifestyle factors can contribute to erectile dysfunction. Metabolic disorders like hypertension, diabetes, and high cholesterol can impact blood flow to the genitals. Diet plays a significant role, and adhering to a healthy eating plan like the Mediterranean diet, which includes vegetables, healthy fats, and limited processed foods, can promote vascular health and improve sexual function. Limiting alcohol and drug use, and considering nitric oxide boosters like nasal breathing can also support erectile function. While medications like Viagra and Cialis have their place, they should be used under medical guidance and not solely relied upon as lifestyle interventions are important for overall health and sexual function.
Enhancing Intimacy in Relationships
Being intimate in a relationship doesn't always have to mean having sex. It's important to prioritize connection and love, without the pressure of needing to have sex every time. By scheduling intimate moments, like morning or afternoon rendezvous, couples can create opportunities for bonding and being together. The goal should be to foster intimacy, and if sex happens, it's a bonus. Creating a schedule or routine can help both partners feel more satisfied and find a compromise that works for both of them. It's also important to consider factors like food and alcohol consumption, as they can impact sexual desire and performance.
Pornography: Pros, Cons, and Responsible Use
Pornography can be a tool to enhance sexual arousal and exploration, especially when watched with a partner. It can allow individuals to explore aspects of their sexuality that may not be feasible in real life. However, it's crucial to remember that porn is not an accurate representation of real sex, and can often create unrealistic expectations. Overuse or problematic porn use can occur in a small percentage of individuals, leading to negative consequences on their personal and professional lives. It's important to have a nuanced approach to porn consumption, understanding its potential benefits and being mindful of its potential drawbacks. Open conversations, particularly with children, about the realities and limitations of pornography are needed to prevent misinformation and unrealistic expectations.
When we think of sex, we may not immediately think of longevity. Yet a healthy sex life is related to longevity, and challenges in sexual health can often be precursory signs for underlying metabolic or chronic health issues.
Today on The Dhru Purohit Podcast, Dhru sits down with board-certified urologist Dr. Rena Malik to discuss the importance of healthy sex life and the challenges men and women face with low libido levels, pelvic floor dysfunction, hormone imbalances, and masturbation. Dr. Malik shares her expert advice on increasing sex in our busy lives and the science behind sexual health, diet, exercise, and orgasms. She also discusses the roadblocks that prevent us from having optimal sex lives and the importance of positive and exploratory communication with our partners.
Dr. Rena Malik is a board-certified urologist with a talent for dispelling medical misinformation, discussing intimate topics, and evidence-based discussions of taboo topics. Dr. Malik is also a prominent reconstructive urologist treating bladder conditions, sexual dysfunction, pelvic pain, and hormone management.
In this episode, Dhru and Dr. Malik dive into (audio version / Apple Subscriber version):
The relationship between sex and longevity (2:00 / 2:00)
The impact of sex on mood (4:30 / 4:30)
How often should we be having sex (6:30 / 6:30)
Masturbation as a taboo topic, and knowing what you like (9:54 / 8:28)
Mental roadblocks that impact sex life (17:27 / 15:43)
Exercising to improve your sex life and the pitfalls of a sedentary lifestyle (22:41 / 21:08)
The challenges that women face that impact their sex life and how to improve sensation (27:25 / 25:53)
What deteriorates the pelvic floor and how to treat a weak pelvic floor (46:21 /43:26)
Desire, erectile dysfunction, and challenges men face (55:30 / 52:08)
Nitric Oxide’s critical role in sexual health (1:01:39 / 58:35)
The top myths about the female anatomy (1:11:50 / 1:08:45)
Sexual desire mismatch and what you can do to fix it (1:15:54 / 1:12:40)
The pros and cons of pornography (1:23:33 / 1:20:29)
Supplements that support sexual health (1:34:58 / 1:31:48)
Sexual positions that are pleasurable for both parties (1:38:41 / 1:35:35)
How Dr. Malik began her social media presence (1:42:35 / 1:39:28)
Tips for parents who want to educate their children (1:47:40 / 1:44:44)
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