How To! How To Stop Fawning
Dec 16, 2025
Dr. Ingrid Clayton, a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and author, dives deep into fawning—a little-known trauma response. She reveals its roots in relational trauma and shares a personal story that illustrates its long-lasting effects. The discussion highlights how fawning differs from people-pleasing, the societal dynamics that influence fawning behavior, and its consequences on self-identity. Ingrid also provides practical tools for retraining the nervous system, ultimately empowering listeners to reclaim their true selves while maintaining empathy.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Hot-Tub Moment That Revealed Fawning
- Ingrid Clayton describes a childhood hot-tub moment with her volatile stepfather where she appeased him to stay safe.
- That instinctive fawning felt normal then but later revealed long-hidden trauma when he died.
Trauma Is Nervous-System Overwhelm
- Trauma is defined by nervous-system overwhelm, not only by dramatic events.
- Complex trauma refers to ongoing relational or developmental harm rather than single incidents.
Fawning Is A Reflexive Survival Response
- Fawning differs from people-pleasing because it is a reflexive, body-based survival response.
- Naming it honors its roots and reduces blaming or shaming survivors for adaptive behavior.
