Tom Henschel, an internationally recognized expert in workplace communications and self-presentation, shares insights on managing up. He distinguishes between managing up, which influences how you're perceived by your manager, and coaching up, which aims to change the relationship. Henschel emphasizes the importance of data over emotions, suggesting phrases to encourage open dialogue. He advises arriving with solutions to reduce your boss's workload, highlighting that understanding their success metrics is key to effective influence in the workplace.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Boss as Customer
Treat your boss like your most important customer.
This mindset shift improves work interactions and perceptions.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Disagree Agreeably
Express disagreements professionally without blaming.
Use the phrase, "I think differently about that…" to open a learning conversation.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Emotionally Detached
Remove emotion when addressing business issues with your boss.
Present data and evidence like a factual report.
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First published in 1936, 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie is a timeless guide to improving interpersonal skills. The book is divided into four main sections: Six Ways to Make People Like You, Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking, and Nine Ways to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment. Carnegie's principles emphasize the importance of genuine interest in others, active listening, and avoiding criticism and argument. The book offers practical advice on how to build strong relationships, communicate effectively, and influence others by aligning their self-interest with yours. It has been a cornerstone of personal development and business success for generations[2][3][5].
Tom Henschel: The Look & Sound of Leadership
Tom Henschel of Essential Communications grooms senior leaders and executive teams. An internationally recognized expert in the field of workplace communications and self-presentation, he has helped thousands of leaders achieve excellence through his work as an executive coach and his top-rated podcast, The Look & Sound of Leadership.
Recently, I’ve received a number of questions about “managing up” and “coaching up.” In this conversation, Tom and I discuss the art and practice of managing up, how it is different than coaching up, and where to focus your mindset and time for the best results to influence effectively.
Key Points
Managing up happens when you want to influence how you’re perceived by your manager. Coaching up happens when you want to create change in the relationship with your manager.
A useful phrase to start with when speaking truth to power: “I think differently about that…”
Set aside the emotion when addressing a business issue and lead with data and evidence.
“Appeal to the nobler motives.” -Dale Carnegie
Come to the table with solutions — or at least a first step. Most people know this rule, but far fewer do it consistently.
Ask yourself: how is my boss being measured for success?
A cardinal rule when managing up: take more off your boss’s plate that you add to it.
Bonus Audio
How is your boss being measured?
Resources Mentioned
How to Win Friends and Influence People* by Dale Carnegie
Managing Your Boss by John Gabarro and John Kotter
Related Episodes
How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel (episode 164)
Managing Up (The Look & Sound of Leadership)
Managing Your Boss (The Look & Sound of Leadership)
Upward Feedback (The Look & Sound of Leadership)
Green Lights Always Change (Dave’s Journal)
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