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The Science Behind Lasting Relationships with Logan Ury

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Nov 17, 2021

Guest

Logan Ury

Logan Ury, a behavioral scientist and dating coach, is the director of relationship science at Hinge and author of "How to Not Die Alone." She dives into the science behind creating lasting relationships, exploring modern dating dynamics compared to historical practices. Ury highlights the significance of responding to connection bids and shares strategies for enriching both romantic and workplace relationships. She emphasizes the value of having a diverse support network and examines how dating apps can foster meaningful connections.

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INSIGHT

Relationship Benefits

Being in a relationship has been linked to increased happiness, health, and longevity.
These benefits are particularly pronounced for men, according to studies.

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INSIGHT

History of Dating

Modern dating is a relatively new phenomenon, emerging around 1890.
Before that, marriages were often arranged, removing individual choice.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Setup Success

Chris Hutchins set up two friends who worked together but hadn't considered dating.
This setup led to a successful relationship, highlighting the potential of nudges.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Navigating Modern Relationships

02:56 • 21min

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Understanding Connection Bids in Relationships

24:23 • 4min

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Enhancing Workplace Relationships

28:26 • 13min

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Exploring Tools for Relationship Enrichment and Efficiency

41:56 • 4min

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Building a Diverse Support Network

46:22 • 7min

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Exploring Personal Goals and the Impact of Dating Apps

53:36 • 3min

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Navigating Adult Friendships in a Changing World

56:29 • 4min

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How Not to Die

Michael Greger

Gene Stone

In *How Not to Die*, Dr. Michael Greger examines the top 15 causes of premature death in America, including heart disease, various cancers, diabetes, Parkinson's, and high blood pressure. He explains how nutritional and lifestyle interventions can often be more effective than pharmaceutical and surgical approaches in preventing and reversing these diseases. The book includes Dr. Greger's Daily Dozen, a checklist of foods to consume daily for maximum health benefits, and is backed by extensive scientific research and evidence.

Labor of love

The Invention of Dating

Moira Weigel

Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating by Moira Weigel explores the history of dating from the early 20th century to the present day. The book argues that dating is a social construct influenced by industrialization, urbanization, and economic shifts, particularly the rise of consumer capitalism. Weigel examines how dating has been a form of labor, especially for women, and how it reflects and shapes societal norms and gender roles. The book also discusses the impact of technological advancements and market forces on contemporary dating practices, challenging the notion that dating is a natural or timeless phenomenon[1][4][5].

Friendship in the Age of Loneliness

Adam Smiley Poswolsky

In 'Friendship in the Age of Loneliness', Adam Smiley Poswolsky offers practical advice on creating meaningful connections, making new friends, and deepening relationships. The book emphasizes the importance of prioritizing real-world experiences and developing a healthier relationship with technology to combat loneliness.

#29: Bestselling author and relationship expert Logan Ury joins Chris to discuss the science behind successful relationships. They discuss how to build relationships that last a lifetime, how to apply relationship science to professional relationships, and how to make sure you have a fulfilling marriage once you find a partner that is right for you.

Logan Ury (@loganury) is a behavioral scientist turned dating coach and the author of the bestselling book How to Not Die Alone. She is also the director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge. Previously, she ran Google’s behavioral science team (The Irrational Lab).

“Love is natural, but dating is not” - Logan Ury

Full show notes available at: https://allthehacks.com/lasting-relationships-logan-ury/

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Resources Mentioned

Connect with Logan Ury: Website | Twitter | Instagram

Logan Ury’s Book: How to Not Die Alone

Find your dating tendency: Quiz

Relationship contract: Google Doc Template

Notable relationship researchers: Eli Finkel | Dr. John and Julie Gottman

Friendship in the age of loneliness by Adam Smiley Poswolsky: Book

Full Show Notes

(00:14) Who Is Logan Ury?

(01:32) Why She Titled Her Book “How To Not Die Alone”

(02:38) Does Being in a Relationship Improve Your Life According to Research?

(03:13) Why Logan Ury Went From Behavioral Scientist to Dating Coach

(04:33) Dating Is a Relatively New Phenomenon, How Does That Affect Us?

(05:50) Do Arranged Marriages and Set-Ups Work?

(08:54) Does Having More Options Make Dating Harder?

(11:00) Why the Idea of ‘The One’ or Having a Soul Mate Is a Harmful Idea

(12:02) How to Transition From a Maximizer to a Satisficer Personality in Dating

(14:08) The Three Dating Tendencies (Which One Are You?)

(17:59) Why Don’t We Ever Learn About How to Date Better?

(19:40) Which Couples Are Most Likely to Break Up (According to Relationship Scientists)

(22:42) Can You Learn to Have More Successful Relationships?

(24:23) Four Ways Relationship Science Can Level Up Your Professional Relationships

(29:13) Why You Should Stop Searching for a ‘Spark’

(31:44) Looking for a Life Partner, Not a Prom Date

(34:13) Why You Need a Relationship Contract (And Other Hacks for Married Couples)

(39:40) Why You Should Have Other Significant Others

(44:10) How Logan Ury Wrote Her Book and Overcame Procrastination

(46:30) Should You Write a Book?

(48:09) Logan’s Goals for 2022

(49:25) What Does Logan Ury Think of Dating Apps?

(50:59) How Can You Make Friends as an Adult?

(53:18) How to Connect With Logan Ury

Connect with All the Hacks

All the Hacks: Newsletter | Website | Membership | Email

Chris Hutchins: Twitter | Instagram | Website | LinkedIn

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