Sara Avant Stover, author of Handbook for the Heartbroken, shares insights on navigating heartbreak in a society illiterate about it. Topics include tenderness, cascading losses, self-acceptance, Internal Family Systems therapy, grief, supporting the heartbroken, rituals for letting go, and the transformative power of pain and grief.
Deeply feeling and processing emotional pain is essential for healing after heartbreak.
Engaging in therapeutic journaling can aid in exploring unresolved emotions and promoting healing.
Cultivating self-awareness, vulnerability, and engaging in spiritual practices are crucial for personal growth post-heartbreak.
Supporting others through acts of kindness and compassion is key in navigating the challenges of heartbreak.
Deep dives
Sarah's Personal Journey Through Heartbreak
Sarah Avant Stover shares her personal journey through a series of heartbreaks from 2016 to 2020, starting with her former fiance's infidelity. These heartbreaks impacted every aspect of her life, leading to a deep transformation and reshaping of her identity, career, and relationships. Despite her initial plans and spiritual practices, the heartbreaks took her to profound inner growth and a new sense of self.
Navigating Financial and Career Challenges
Following her heartbreaks, Sarah's personal and professional life faced significant challenges. She made difficult decisions to close down her thriving career, declare bankruptcy due to financial setbacks, and undergo multiple surgeries. Despite feeling financially and emotionally overwhelmed, she found the courage to step back, reassess her path, and embrace uncertainty.
Essential Role of Feeling and Processing Pain
Sarah emphasizes the importance of fully feeling and processing emotional pain, especially during times of heartbreak. She highlights the transformative power of allowing oneself to deeply experience grief and pain without avoidance or judgment. Through practices like mindful breathing and body awareness, individuals can navigate their pain and begin the healing process.
Introspective Journaling and Release Rituals
Sarah recommends a therapeutic journaling practice to delve into unresolved emotions and memories related to past heartbreaks, offering a path towards deeper healing and release. She suggests dedicating four 15-minute journaling sessions to explore hidden emotions and experiences. Following the journaling process, engaging in a symbolic ritual, such as burning paper or burying it, can aid in letting go and moving forward.
Transformation and Soul Growth After Heartbreak
Sarah reflects on how her journey through heartbreak led to profound inner changes and growth. She describes shedding her false personality traits like arrogance and embracing deeper qualities like humility, patience, and compassion. Through the midlife initiation process, Sarah feels reorganized and aligned with her essence, experiencing a profound sense of wholeness and self-acceptance.
Supporting Others Through Heartbreak
Sarah emphasizes the importance of being present and compassionate for others experiencing heartbreak. By cultivating a deeper understanding of one's own pain and vulnerabilities, individuals can offer genuine support to loved ones in their time of need. Encouraging specific acts of kindness, such as inviting them for a meal or offering practical help, can provide meaningful support during challenging times.
Holistic Approach to Healing and Growth
Incorporating spiritual practices, journaling, ritualistic release ceremonies, and cultivating self-awareness are key elements in Sarah's approach to healing and personal growth after heartbreak. By embracing vulnerability, feeling pain fully, and engaging in transformative practices, individuals can navigate their emotional journey, release past wounds, and emerge with a deeper sense of self-understanding and resilience.
Heartbreak is a universal human experience. Yet we often lack the vocabulary and the skills needed to move through heartbreak wisely. This was certainly the case for Sara Avant Stover, whose decades of spiritual practice and deep inner work could not prepare her for the “serial heartbreaks” that upended her life. In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with the author of Handbook for the Heartbroken about the challenges of navigating loss in a “heartbreak-illiterate” society.
Discover how our most painful experiences can become a gateway to personal empowerment and healing, in this practical conversation on: taking on a disposition of tenderness; the impacts of cascading losses; entering the depths of our pain; the metaphor of the tightrope over the chasm; moving from self-judgment to self-acceptance; how Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy helps us during heartbreak; the quiet “soul” powers our pain can open us to; grief; supporting the heartbroken; rituals for letting go; the midlife initiation; and more.
Note: This episode originally aired on Sounds True One, where these special episodes of Insights at the Edge are available to watch live on video with exclusive access to Q&As with our guests. Learn more at join.soundstrue.com.
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