Why Chasing Goodness Keeps Us Stuck with Elise Loehnen

Aug 29, 2025

In this engaging conversation, Elise Loehnen, a writer and former chief content officer at Goop, challenges the pursuit of goodness as a path to fulfillment. She argues that striving for wholeness embraces all aspects of ourselves, including envy and so-called 'shadow' traits. Elise discusses how personal narratives and societal pressures shape our identities, urging listeners to confront self-doubt and emotional escapism. By reframing the seven deadly sins as energies, she offers transformative tools for personal growth and empowerment.

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INSIGHT

Integration Beats Eradication

Both 'good' and 'bad' parts of ourselves are present and essential to wholeness.
The aim is to integrate and tame disowned parts, not eradicate them.

INSIGHT

Sins As Informative Energies

The seven deadly sins are better seen as energies that signal needs and boundaries.
Disavowing those energies leaves them unconscious and costly to our relationships and identity.

ADVICE

Shift Above The Line

When fear runs your system you operate 'below the line' and see the world as happening to you.
Move 'above the line' by recognizing responsibility and creative agency to reclaim power over your experience.

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In this episode, Elise Loehnen explains why chasing goodness keeps us stuck and how to choose wholeness instead. For so many of us, the drive to be “good” shapes how we show up – as friends, partners, coworkers, even in how we speak to ourselves on hard days. But what does it cost us to live that way? Elise invites us to see that the real challenge isn’t to feed only the good wolf, but to become a whole wolf; one who integrates all parts of ourselves, even the ones we’d rather hide. She explores the hidden price of goodness, the surprising usefulness of envy, the roles we unconsciously inherit, and the stories that keep us small. This conversation will help you rethink what wholeness means and how embracing it can lead to a more authentic, empowered life.

Discover the six hidden saboteurs that quietly derail your best intentions—like autopilot behavior, self-doubt, and emotional escape. Download our free guide to uncover what’s getting in your way and learn simple strategies to take back control. Get it now at oneyoufeed.net/ebook.

Key Takeaways:

Exploration of inner conflict and personal growth.
Discussion of the concept of wholeness versus goodness.
Examination of the parable of the two wolves and its implications for self-identity.
Reframing the seven deadly sins as energies rather than moral failings.
Identification of common obstacles to personal growth, such as self-doubt and emotional escapism.
Introduction of practical tools for recognizing and transforming personal narratives.
Importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no.
The role of envy as a complex emotion and its potential for self-discovery.
Discussion of the influence of cultural narratives on personal desires and behaviors.
Emphasis on flexibility in self-understanding and the ongoing journey of personal integration.

If you enjoyed this conversation with Elise Loehnen, check out these other episodes

Mimetic Desires in Everyday Life with Luke Burgis

How to Embrace the Wisdom of the Women Mystics with Mirabai Starr

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