How To Fail With Elizabeth Day
Dame Arlene Phillips - ‘I know the power of love’
Episode guests
Podcast summary created with Snipd AI
Quick takeaways
- Courage in facing rejection is crucial for pursuing a career in theatre.
- Overcoming deep-seated fears and anxieties can lead to personal growth and fulfillment.
- Navigating personal responsibilities and career aspirations can be emotionally challenging and impactful in shaping self-perception.
- Missed opportunities due to lack of confidence can serve as pivotal learning moments for self-belief.
- Open dialogue and respect are essential in professional relationships to avoid feelings of undervaluation.
- Inspiring others through constructive feedback and encouragement can unlock their full potential.
Deep dives
Importance of Facing Rejection
Dave Marlene Phillips emphasizes the importance of having the courage to face rejection when pursuing a career in theatre, advising performers to be prepared for constant auditions and potential disappointments. She highlights the need for individuals to accept rejection as a part of the process and not to pursue theatre if they cannot handle the challenges of auditioning.
Dealing with Fear of Failure and Self-Worth
Dave Marlene opens up about her fear of flying and how it spiraled into a tremendous source of anxiety and panic, causing her to decline job opportunities and experience distress when flying, impacting her personal and professional life. She regrets the time and emotional energy wasted on this fear, acknowledging its detrimental effect on her career choices and well-being.
Emotional Impact of Facing Loss and Guilt
Dave Marlene reflects on the profound impact of her mother's illness and passing during her teenage years, emphasizing the guilt she carries for not always being present for her mother due to obligations and fears, revealing a deep emotional scar that still affects her as she looks back on those difficult times. She shares the inner conflict she faced, balancing personal responsibilities and career aspirations, which weighed heavily on her at a young age.
Lesson Learned from Dreaming of Being a Ballerina
Dave Marlene candidly discusses her childhood dream of becoming a ballerina and the realization that despite her passion and hard work, the classical ballet world favored a certain physique and aesthetic that she could not naturally embody. She shares the disappointment of being sidelined in dance classes due to her body shape and how this experience shaped her perception of her own body image and self-worth, highlighting the challenges she faced in accepting her unique strengths and limitations.
Navigating Career Setbacks and Self-Reflection
Dave Marlene recalls a pivotal moment in her career where she missed a significant audition due to work commitments and fears, leading to a missed opportunity and a sense of failure rooted in self-doubt and lack of confidence. She acknowledges this as a turning point that taught her the importance of self-belief and courage, regretting not seizing the opportunity due to internal struggles and external pressures.
Facing Uncertainty and Regrets in Career Decisions
Dave Marlene expresses her regret and disappointment in how her tenure as a judge on a popular show came to an end, highlighting the lack of clarity and communication surrounding her departure, which left her feeling unappreciated and undervalued. She reflects on the emotional impact of not having closure in that chapter of her career, emphasizing the need for open dialogue and respect in professional relationships.
Promoting Self-Empowerment and Overcoming Challenges
Dave Marlene shares insights on her journey of self-empowerment, emphasizing the importance of inspiring others through constructive feedback and encouragement to unlock their full potential. She delves into her role as a mentor and motivator, aiming to instill confidence and drive in those she works with, reflecting on her experience of witnessing individuals flourish under her guidance and support.
Coping with Personal Loss and Aging Reflections
Dave Marlene discusses her contemplations on mortality and the impact of personal losses on her perspective as she navigates her 80s. She shares the profound influence of her parents' health challenges and her evolving awareness of life's fragility, underscoring the significance of cherishing moments with loved ones and embracing life with gratitude and purpose in the face of aging uncertainties.
Overcoming Fears and Embracing Life's Lessons
Dave Marlene elucidates her struggle with a deep-seated fear of flying, tracing its origins to a traumatic early flying experience and the escalating anxieties that hindered her personal and professional choices. She reflects on her gradual acceptance and management of the fear as she aged, incorporating personal rituals for comfort and acknowledging the transformative process of confronting fears to lead a more fulfilled life.
Balancing Career Ambitions and Personal Vulnerabilities
Dave Marlene opens up about her career challenges, expressing vulnerability and self-criticism in moments of rejection and self-doubt, showcasing the internal battle between professional aspirations and emotional resilience. She delves into the complexities of self-worth and courage, highlighting the importance of navigating setbacks with self-compassion and growth mindset.
Empowering Others and Reflecting on Achievements
Dave Marlene shares her experiences as a mentor and motivator in the entertainment industry, emphasizing the transformative power of words in inspiring and uplifting individuals to reach their full potential. She reflects on the impact of her guidance on aspiring performers, detailing her approach to nurturing talent and instilling confidence among those she mentors.
Oh my. I can’t tell you how moving I found this interview. That doesn’t mean it’s a weepy one - sometimes, the most powerful exchanges are the ones where you witness the sheer strength it takes someone *no*t to cry.
Dame Arlene Phillips is defined by her strength: strength of mind and of body (at 80, she’s still hard at work as a hit choreographer). You’ll know her as an internationally celebrated jazz and musical theatre legend, who has worked on some of the biggest-selling musicals in West End and Broadway theatre, as well as a number of blockbuster movies. But you might not know she lost her mum to leukaemia when she was just 15, had a challenging upbringing and had her second baby when she was 47 years old (she thought the pregnancy symptoms were signs of perimenopause).
Then in 2008, Dame Arlene was unceremoniously dropped as a judge from Strictly Come Dancing amid accusations of ageism. She only found out when it was reported on the next day’s radio news. We talk frankly about how this affected her - and how she’s never had an apology from the BBC. We also discuss Dame Arlene’s failure to become a ballerina and how this made her feel about her body, her fear of flying and her past inability to stand up for herself.
WHAT. A. WOMAN.
As always, I’d LOVE to hear about your failures. Every week, my guest and I choose a selection to read out and answer on our special subscription offering, Failing with Friends. We’ll endeavour to give you advice, wisdom, some laughs and much, much more.
Have something to share of your own? I'd love to hear from you! Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com
Production & Post Production Manager: Lily Hambly
Studio and Mix Engineer: Gulliver Tickell and Josh Gibbs
Producer: Hannah Talbot
Executive Producer: Carly Maile
How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production.
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