Join Brad Stulberg as he discusses identity and change. Learn about 'identity foreclosure' and the power of understanding our 'why'. Gain practical advice on navigating change and embracing a new normal. This episode provides valuable insights for self-discovery and informed decision-making.
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Quick takeaways
Embrace change as a constant in life and adjust expectations to align with reality.
Diversify your sense of self to be resilient and avoid over-identifying with one aspect of your life.
Find balance between accepting change and recognizing its difficulties to navigate it successfully.
Deep dives
The Importance of a Rugged and Flexible Mindset
Having a rugged and flexible mindset is crucial for navigating change. Instead of resisting change, it is important to accept it and see it as a constant in life. By dropping the weight of denial and resistance, we open ourselves to the flow of life. Additionally, we need to adjust our expectations to align with reality. Expecting change to be hard paradoxically makes it easier, as it allows us to let go of unrealistic expectations and focus on taking productive actions.
Diversifying Our Sense of Self
Diversifying our sense of self is key to having a strong and fluid identity. Identifying solely with one aspect of our lives can make us fragile when that aspect changes. Instead, we should have multiple rooms in our identity, such as being a spouse, a parent, an athlete, a writer, etc. This diversification allows us to lean on other aspects of our identity when one area experiences change. It not only makes us more resilient to change but also helps us avoid the trap of over-identifying with one aspect of our lives.
The Traps of Over-Identifying and Denying Change
Our culture often encourages us to seek stability and resist change. However, change is constant and accepting its inevitability is crucial. We must not deny or resist change but embrace it as a part of life. On the other hand, relying on a full embrace of change without acknowledging the pain and challenges it presents is also a trap. It is important to strike a balance between accepting change and recognizing its difficulties. By doing so, we can navigate change without falling into the extremes of blind positivity or overwhelming despair.
The Shift from Homeostasis to Allostasis
The podcast discusses the shift in thinking about change from the concept of homeostasis to allostasis. Homeostasis, the prevailing model of change for the past 150 years, describes the cycle of stability, change, and returning to stability. However, researchers now argue that for 99.99% of changes, homeostasis is not the best model. Instead, allostasis, which describes a cycle of stability and new stability, is more accurate. The goal of allostasis is to find stability by adapting to the environment and embracing change.
Rugged Flexibility and Dealing with Change
The podcast emphasizes the importance of cultivating rugged flexibility to navigate change effectively. Ruggedness refers to strength and knowing one's capabilities, while flexibility involves adapting and applying those strengths. The speaker highlights the significance of embracing both qualities to face big changes, as rigidness and excessive flexibility alone can be limiting. Additionally, the episode encourages adopting a seeking pathway mindset, focusing on problem-solving and viewing challenges as opportunities rather than getting caught in a rage pathway fueled by resistance and panic. Taking deliberate and thoughtful actions is key to navigate change successfully.
Join us in an enlightening conversation with Brad Stulberg, as we explore the complexities of identity, change, and decision-making. Brad delves into the concept of 'identity foreclosure' and how our ego often limits us to narrow definitions of who we are. We discuss the importance of understanding the 'why' behind what we do and how it can liberate us from self-imposed constraints. Brad also shares practical tips on how to navigate change by embracing a 'new normal' rather than longing for the past. This episode is a treasure trove of insights for anyone looking to understand themselves better and make more informed decisions in life.