Voices of Esalen Courage to Connect: Shame-Blocking and Flirtation Skills with Dr. Jacob Towery
Jun 30, 2025
In a vibrant conversation, Dr. Jacob Towery, a Stanford-trained psychiatrist, shares his playful approach to overcoming social anxiety and shame. He conducts live exercises with staff members Liz Lea and Wuya Xu, demonstrating how embracing vulnerability can enhance authentic connections. They discuss transforming flirtation into a natural, lighthearted form of interaction while tackling the fear of rejection through fun 'rejection training'. Personal anecdotes highlight the importance of humor, consent, and emotional openness in fostering meaningful relationships.
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Shame Attacking Exercises Illustrated
- Psychiatrist Jacob Towery shares his experience performing "shame attacking exercises" like walking a banana on a leash downtown.
- These playful acts help lessen fear of judgment and build social courage.
Shame Attacking World Champion
- Jacob Towery won the 2022 Shame Attacking World Championships with a video juggling one ball in a galaxy onesie.
- The contest involves creative, embarrassing acts to reduce fear of judgment.
The Self Is an Illusion
- The concept of self is an illusion that causes unnecessary fear of judgment.
- Realizing the self is malleable frees us to express different sides without being trapped by fixed identity.
