Hidden Brain Love 2.0: How to Fix Your Marriage, Part 1
Sep 29, 2025
In this discussion, psychologist James Cordova explores the nuances of long-term relationships. He reveals how attempts to change a partner can backfire, highlighting the importance of acceptance over conflict. Cordova introduces concepts like the porcupine-turtle dynamic, emphasizing how understanding relationship patterns can foster collaboration. Additionally, behavioral scientist Jan Yachimovich shares insights on sustaining passion through routine and experimentation, illustrating that passion is a practice requiring ongoing attention and curiosity.
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Boots, Teasing, And A Misread Moment
- James Cordova shares a Santa Fe boot-shopping moment where his joking hurt his wife's feelings and she pulled away.
- His instinct to keep joking failed and revealed how teasing clashed with her tenderhearted nature.
Perpetual Problems Drive Relationship Distress
- Perpetual relationship problems arise from stable, natural differences between partners that won't fully disappear.
- How couples relate to these differences, not the problems themselves, predicts long-term relationship health.
Collaborate To Solve Mezzanine Conflicts
- Approach mezzanine problems with compassionate curiosity to find practical compromises.
- Collaborate to craft technical or behavioral solutions that honor both partners' needs.
