The Francesca Psychology Podcast Dr K: The Truth About Incels, "Low Value" Men, & Why You Can't Get A Girlfriend
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Oct 31, 2025 
Dr. Alok Kanojia, also known as Dr. K, is a Harvard-trained psychiatrist and co-founder of Healthy Gamer, focusing on modern mental health challenges. In this conversation, he shares his journey from gaming addiction to integrating spirituality with psychiatry. He explores how to find purpose by building it internally through choices and connections. Dr. K also discusses the loneliness epidemic, social skills, and practical dating advice, emphasizing that attraction is about vision and handling difficulties, not just looks.
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From Video Game Addiction To Ashram Transformation
- Alok Kanojia failed out of college due to video game addiction and felt out of control before seeking change.
- A transformative ashram stay led him to meditation and set him on a path toward medicine and psychiatry.
Shared Roots Behind Diverse Mental Health Problems
- Many presenting complaints share root transdiagnostic factors like meaninglessness and ego issues.
- Targeting these roots (purpose, identity) produced large increases in direction for Healthy Gamer participants.
Build Purpose By Choosing And Stretching
- Stop asking 'How do I find my purpose?' and notice purpose as an internal felt state.
- Build purpose by making choices, stretching capacity, and strengthening relatedness.