E243: Your Biggest Marriage Regrets (And How To Prevent Them)

11 snips

Jan 15, 2026

Marriage regrets often creep in quietly, like feeling more like roommates than partners. Boundaries with extended family can unknowingly damage relationships. Sexual rejection can lead to emotional shutdown, while losing your individual identity in a partnership is a common pitfall. Work and kids often overshadow connection, making couples feel stuck. The hosts emphasize the importance of addressing sexual incompatibility and reinvigorating fun in relationships, offering practical ways to refresh and connect.

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ADVICE

Set Boundaries With Extended Family

Discuss family-boundary values early and set clear limits with your partner before resentment builds.
Enforce consequences if your partner repeatedly prioritizes family over your marriage.

INSIGHT

Don't Let Rejection Define You

Rejection is inevitable in relationships and shouldn't define your desirability.
Separate your self-worth from partner responses and address chronic rejection with honest conversation or therapy.

ADVICE

Protect Your Individual Identity

Maintain your individual life: hobbies, friends, and therapy when needed to prevent enmeshment.
Raise concerns early to avoid resentment that explodes later as a '10 out of 10' problem.

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Most marriage regrets don’t show up as explosive fights. They show up quietly.

Feeling more like roommates than partners.

Wondering when sex started feeling complicated… or nonexistent.

Noticing resentment creeping in and asking yourself… “Is this just how marriage is supposed to feel?”

In today’s episode, we’re getting into the marriage regrets and mistakes people hold close to their chests… but rarely say out loud.

We’re sharing real stories pulled from Instagram, Reddit, and our own marriage, along with practical ways to prevent these regrets from becoming permanent patterns.

Whether you’re married, partnered, or thinking about your future relationship, this conversation is for you.

💛 In this episode, you’ll hear:

Why not setting boundaries with extended family can quietly damage a marriage.
How rejection (real or imagined) can shut people down sexually — and what to do instead.
What happens when you lose your individual identity inside a relationship.
Why work, logistics, and kids so often crowd out connection.
How couples get stuck sexually when growth feels threatening instead of exciting.
Why ignoring sexual incompatibility doesn’t make it go away.
The underrated importance of fun — and what happens when it disappears.

Ready For A Relationship Reset?

And if this episode hits close to home, you’re not alone.

We’ve had moments of doubt in our own relationship — and one of the most helpful things we’ve learned is the power of intentionally hitting refresh together, especially at the start of a new year.

It’s not too late to join New Year, New Us: 21-Day Relationship Refresh.

You only need 5 minutes a day (with the option to go deeper if you want).

Here’s how it works:

Each week starts with a short audio lesson to set the theme.
You’ll get 21 daily reset questions — one per day — to reflect on individually, then share with your partner.
The focus is clarity, connection, and getting out of autopilot.

We break it down into 3 weeks, 3 focus areas:

Week 1: Reflect on the past year together.
Week 2: Connection refresh — design your dream relationship.
Week 3: Sex refresh — reignite desire and intimacy.

You can move at your own pace — and yes, you can still join.

👉 Sign up now at https://vmtherapy.com/newyear

Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander

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