Regret 5: Not evolving together

Most marriage regrets don’t show up as explosive fights. They show up quietly.

Feeling more like roommates than partners.

Wondering when sex started feeling complicated… or nonexistent.

Noticing resentment creeping in and asking yourself… “Is this just how marriage is supposed to feel?”

In today’s episode, we’re getting into the marriage regrets and mistakes people hold close to their chests… but rarely say out loud.

We’re sharing real stories pulled from Instagram, Reddit, and our own marriage, along with practical ways to prevent these regrets from becoming permanent patterns.

Whether you’re married, partnered, or thinking about your future relationship, this conversation is for you.

💛 In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why not setting boundaries with extended family can quietly damage a marriage.

• How rejection (real or imagined) can shut people down sexually — and what to do instead.

• What happens when you lose your individual identity inside a relationship.

• Why work, logistics, and kids so often crowd out connection.

• How couples get stuck sexually when growth feels threatening instead of exciting.

• Why ignoring sexual incompatibility doesn’t make it go away.

• The underrated importance of fun — and what happens when it disappears.

Ready For A Relationship Reset?

And if this episode hits close to home, you’re not alone.

We’ve had moments of doubt in our own relationship — and one of the most helpful things we’ve learned is the power of intentionally hitting refresh together, especially at the start of a new year.

It’s not too late to join New Year, New Us: 21-Day Relationship Refresh.

You only need 5 minutes a day (with the option to go deeper if you want).

Here’s how it works:

• Each week starts with a short audio lesson to set the theme.

• You’ll get 21 daily reset questions — one per day — to reflect on individually, then share with your partner.

• The focus is clarity, connection, and getting out of autopilot.

We break it down into 3 weeks, 3 focus areas:

• Week 1: Reflect on the past year together.

• Week 2: Connection refresh — design your dream relationship.

• Week 3: Sex refresh — reignite desire and intimacy.

You can move at your own pace — and yes, you can still join.

👉 Sign up now at https://vmtherapy.com/newyear

Stay connected 📸 Follow us on Instagram → instagram.com/vanessaandxander

💌 Get our weekly email — real talk, expert tips, and zero shame → https://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you get your podcasts!