77 - DADDY ISSUES PT. 1 - Exploring The Father Wound & the 'Emotionally Unavailable' Father
Feb 20, 2023
50:51
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Stephanie Therapy, a psychotherapist specializing in childhood trauma and parental wounding, joins Louise to explore the foundations of 'Daddy Issues' in a 3 part series. They discuss the difference between Daddy Issues and the Father Wound, emotional unavailability of fathers, the impact of the father wound on relationships, and the 4 types of emotional parent. They also touch on unpacking the father wound, reparenting, and healing from the father wound.
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Quick takeaways
Acknowledging the impact of the father wound involves recognizing the perceived deficiency of love from a parent, rather than a father being a monster.
Understanding one's emotional interpretations and their influence on relationships and self-perception is crucial in addressing the father wound and breaking unhealthy cycles.
Deep dives
Understanding the Father Wound
The episode explores the concept of the father wound and the impact it has on individuals, highlighting the importance of acknowledging the father's role in shaping our lives. It emphasizes that the father wound does not require a father being a monster; rather, it can result from a perceived deficiency of love from a parent. The discussion distinguishes between the father wound and daddy issues, highlighting how they differ in their implications and societal perception. It encourages listeners to engage in self-compassion and explore their own experiences and interpretations to break unhealthy cycles.
The Role of Developmental Trauma
The podcast delves into the effects of developmental trauma, particularly during the first nine years of life. It explains how children rely on their main caregivers for emotional connection and survival, leading to attachment dynamics and the development of a father wound. The speaker emphasizes that trauma is not solely about what happened to a person, but also what they didn't receive and how they interpret emotional situations. The discussion highlights the importance of understanding one's emotional interpretations and how they influence relationships, behavior, and self-perception.
Assessing Emotional Availability
The episode explores the concept of emotional availability and presents a four-category assessment to understand how parents, specifically fathers, demonstrate emotional availability. The categories include emotional availability, complicated emotional availability, detachment, and problematic/disturbed relationships. These categories help individuals reflect on their own experiences and how their fathers exhibited emotional responsiveness, sensitivity, and connection. The discussion emphasizes the significance of communication and healthy emotional interactions in developing secure attachment styles and nurturing relationships.
The Path to Reparenting and Healing
The podcast highlights reparenting as a crucial aspect of healing the father wound. The speaker explains that reparenting involves meeting one's own needs and giving oneself the love, care, and attention that might have been lacking from a father figure. It encourages listeners to identify areas where they can provide themselves with nurturing experiences, such as establishing healthy boundaries, practicing self-compassion, and engaging in self-reflection. The episode also emphasizes the significance of shadow work, acknowledging and addressing the suppressed, uncomfortable parts of oneself. Reparenting is presented as a journey of self-discovery and growth, breaking generational cycles and fostering healing.
Ever thought about how the relationship with your father impacts the relationship with your partner, or the men / women you date or are interested in? It sounds weird, but maybe it's true.
Louise is joined by Stephanie Therapy, a psychotherapist who specialises in childhood trauma, attachment and parental wounding.
Join Louise & Stephanie as they start to look into the foundations of 'Daddy Issues' in a 3 part series. The ladies cover:
The difference between Daddy Issues and the Father Wound
The many ways that the Father Wound can develop and show up
What does 'an emotionally unavailable Father' actually mean
Why children think the world revolves around them (and what happens when they learn it doesn't)
How to assess a parent's emotional unavailability
The 4 types of 'emotional' parent
What we need vs. what we didn't get
+ Your ‘Daddy’ Blueprint
And more!
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