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The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett
Suicidal Drug Addict To Elite Military Commando with Ben Williams
Feb 15, 2021
02:02:00
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Quick takeaways
- Having a relatable role model and the courage to pursue goals can help overcome past mistakes and challenges.
- Recognizing the pain of staying the same and embracing change is necessary for personal growth.
- The commando mindset of courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility is attainable for anyone willing to embrace its values.
- Adopting the ARA framework - accept, remove, adapt - can help navigate difficult situations with clarity and purpose.
- Striving for excellence, rather than perfection, promotes growth and progress in all aspects of life.
Deep dives
Finding purpose amidst hardship
The guest of the podcast episode shares his journey from a broken home to a life plagued by addiction and ultimately finding purpose in joining the Marines. He reflects on the impact of his childhood experiences and the desire to escape his destructive habits. Witnessing a tragic event while working as a bouncer triggers a turning point, leading him to watch a YouTube advert about the Royal Marines. Overcoming addiction and suicidal thoughts, he eventually joins the Marines, embodying the commando mindset of courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility.
The importance of relatable role models
Having a friend who had already joined the Marines provided a relatable role model for the guest, inspiring him to pursue this aspiration. He highlights the significance of having someone who has gone through a similar journey, demonstrating that anyone can accomplish their goals despite their past mistakes or challenges. He encourages others to recognize their own desires and have the courage to take the necessary steps towards achieving them.
The journey from self-destruction to self-growth
The guest emphasizes the importance of recognizing the pain of staying the same and realizing that change is necessary for personal growth. The transition from addiction and suicidal ideation to joining the Marines requires courage and self-belief. He shares his own experiences of letting go of negative habits, embracing physical fitness, and developing a sense of purpose. He underscores the significance of taking baby steps and reaffirms that the journey towards self-improvement is a gradual process.
The commando mindset
The commando mindset is characterized by the values and ethos of the Royal Marines: courage, determination, excellence, self-discipline, integrity, cheerfulness, and humility. These values extend beyond the military context and can be applied to different aspects of life. The guest highlights the power of having a clear sense of purpose, a relatable role model, and the courage to pursue one's goals, emphasizing that the commando mindset is attainable for anyone willing to embrace its values.
Adapting to Adversity with ARA
ARA, which stands for accept, remove, adapt, is a framework used to navigate difficult situations. The first step is acceptance, acknowledging that the situation has happened or is happening. It's important to process and move on without dwelling on blame or bitterness. The next step is removing unwanted emotions. Emotions can hinder clear thinking and decision-making, so it's essential to set them aside for the time being. Finally, the focus shifts to adaptation. How can one adapt to the new circumstances and find a way forward? This framework helps in approaching adversity with clarity and a sense of purpose.
The Importance of Striving for Excellence
Striving for excellence, rather than aiming for perfection, is crucial in any endeavor. Perfection is unattainable, and thinking you've achieved it can lead to arrogance or a decline in standards. Excellence, on the other hand, is about continuously working towards improvement and giving your best effort. It's a mindset that promotes growth and progress, even in the face of challenges. Striving for excellence means going beyond ticking boxes and aiming for a high standard in all aspects of life, whether it's in the military, business, or personal relationships.
The Benefits of Finding Joy in Adversity
Finding joy, or cheerfulness, in the face of adversity is an important aspect of resilience. It's about maintaining a positive mindset and having the ability to laugh at difficult situations. Laughing at tough moments can help alleviate stress, build morale, and prevent a negative downward spiral. By finding humor and maintaining a sense of courage and morale, one can navigate through adversity with a stronger mental health and a more positive outlook on life. The ability to find joy in challenging circumstances is a valuable skill that can enhance overall well-being.
Overcoming adversity in combat
The podcast episode explores the intense and harrowing experience of being in combat during a patrol in Afghanistan. The speaker vividly describes the moment when an explosive device detonated, injuring everyone on the patrol. He recounts the chaos and the efforts to provide immediate medical assistance to his injured comrades, highlighting the bravery and camaraderie among soldiers in such situations. The episode emphasizes the profound impact of war and the lasting effects it can have on the mental and physical well-being of veterans.
Transitioning from the military to civilian life
The podcast delves into the challenges faced by veterans as they transition from military life to the civilian world. The speaker shares his personal experience of struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the difficulty of adjusting to a new sense of purpose and identity. He highlights the importance of open communication and seeking support for mental health issues. The episode also touches on the speaker's journey of finding new purpose by working with athletes and eventually starting a tech company called Lupin, which focuses on promoting mental well-being in the workplace.
From an early age Ben was subjected to a violent parent relationship which saw his family break apart, with only his mother to defend both himself and his brother. Through severe bullying and family upheaval, he moved home six times and went to six different schools within ten years of his life. After an unfortunate incident as a nightclub bouncer involving the death of a patron, Ben fell into a world of drug abuse, gambling and addiction, balancing on the brink of life. Broke, with no home or anyone to turn to, he abused his addictions every day and battled suicidal thoughts. Ben saw an advert on YouTube for the Royal Marines and knew he had one chance left at life by joining. Joining the marines gave him a purpose, he trained religiously, day and night to get fit and read and revised military tactics to increase his knowledge. And he didn’t have a single hand in getting clean from the drugs – his mind, determination and sheer drive got him clean – he was thinking differently.
During his ten years with the Royal Marines – one of the most elite regiments in the world, Ben travelled the world, seeing active operational duties in Afghanistan. The Corps was a rollercoaster journey involving the extreme highs, and lows of war. After being injured in an IED blast in Afghanistan, he returned to the UK with the horrors of war still imprinted on his mind. He had to stay at home with his thoughts – now in a completely new battle.
He turned back into his old self before the marines, drinking, gambling and getting in trouble. The dark thoughts were intrusive. After one alcohol fuelled event, Ben was court-martialed and sent for trial; with his first son on the way he was staring at a four-year sentence for assault, but he fortunately escaped prison by a judge who took pity on him. Broken and at his wits end, a friend lent him ‘the chimp paradox’; and he found himself immersed in self help books and receiving treatment for PTSD.
Like a breath of fresh air, his life changed almost instantly. Ben finally found the answers from experts to understand his behaviour. When his demons were brought under control, he was given the opportunity to join the Commando training centre in Lympstone. As a recruit instructor, he entered the world of coaching and helping others; which saw him flourish.
As a result of his ability, he ended up working with the England football team, where the next part of the journey begins. After being medically discharged, he now owns a leadership and performance coaching company, Vanguard and Find Your Edge, that helps organisations achieve their goals by employing a new mindset; working with many elite professional sports stars, and elite businesses to achieve more.
Ben's book - https://amzn.eu/d/dlSUTXk
Follow me:
https://beacons.ai/diaryofaceo
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