A Slight Change of Plans The People-Pleaser’s Recovery Guide
11 snips
Nov 17, 2025 
Therapist Meg Josephson, author of the bestseller "Are You Mad at Me?", discusses her journey from people-pleasing to self-discovery. She explores how her childhood shaped her need for approval and the fawn response as a survival tactic. Meg identifies six fawning archetypes and examines how excessive pleasing damages relationships. She offers tools like the NICER practice to regain self-connection and shares insights from her book-writing process that led to personal healing. Ultimately, she reflects on finding joy in her authentic self.
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Childhood Roots Of People-Pleasing
- Meg Josephson learned people-pleasing as a child to stay safe in an emotionally volatile home with her father's addiction and rage.
- She responded by constantly monitoring his mood and trying to be perfect to avoid criticism or blowups.
Fawn As A Threat Response
- The fawn response is one of four threat reactions alongside fight, flight, and freeze.
- It appeases perceived threats by pleasing them, which can be adaptive or harmful when overused.
External Acts And Internal Loss
- People-pleasing has both external behaviors and an internal self-abandoning component.
- Being hyperattuned to others requires leaving oneself, which erodes identity and preferences.
