Thierry Henry (EXCLUSIVE): "I Cried Every Single Day", Dealing With Depression, My Childhood Trauma & Fighting For My Dad's Love!
Jan 8, 2024
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Thierry Henry, a former professional footballer and coaching legend, shares his emotional journey marked by childhood trauma and the relentless quest for his father’s approval. He candidly discusses the pressure of expectations and the mental health struggles he faced as an elite athlete, including feelings of isolation post-retirement. Thierry reveals the profound impacts of his upbringing on his identity and happiness, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability and authentic connections in overcoming personal battles.
The speaker's career was shaped by his father's early expectations, leading to a constant drive to prove himself.
Growing up in a household with limited emotional expression and facing adversity in his neighborhood made forming emotional connections difficult for the speaker.
The speaker's constant need for external validation overshadowed personal happiness throughout his football career.
Retiring from football posed challenges for the speaker, including losing his identity and struggling to find purpose and happiness outside of the sport.
Deep dives
The Influence of a Father's Expectations
The speaker discusses how his father's early expectations shaped his career as a football player. From a young age, his father predicted he would become an amazing football player, and this became his mission. He felt the constant pressure to please his father and fulfill his dream. The speaker reflects on the impact of his father's expectations and the constant drive to prove himself.
The Struggle to Find Emotional Connection
Growing up in a household where love and affection were not openly expressed, the speaker faced difficulties in forming emotional connections. His parents' divorce and the tough neighborhood he grew up in further contributed to his struggle to open up and express his feelings. He shares that he internalized this emotional absence, finding it challenging to understand his own emotions and form authentic relationships.
The Burden of Pleasing Others
Throughout his career, the speaker's primary motivation was to please others, particularly his father. He strove to meet his father's expectations and gain his approval. Even during successful moments, such as winning golden boots and being part of the Invincibles team, the need to please others overshadowed any personal happiness. The speaker reveals how the constant need for external validation affected his self-perception and sense of fulfillment.
The Struggle to Transition from Player to Human
After retiring from his football career, the speaker faced challenges in transitioning to a new phase of life. He grappled with no longer wearing the 'athlete cape' and losing the structure and purpose that came with being a player. The speaker reflects on the difficulty of leaving behind the only identity he had known and the struggle to find happiness and purpose outside of the football world.
The Importance of Enjoying the Journey and Being Happy
Terry Henry reflects on the need to enjoy life and be happy, especially after an intense and successful career. He emphasizes the importance of not forgetting to enjoy the ride and finding happiness along the way. Terry mentions that he used to focus on pleasing others but now realizes the need to balance that with his own happiness.
Understanding and Embracing Vulnerability and Emotions
Terry Henry discusses his journey of self-discovery, realizing the importance of vulnerability and embracing emotions. He shares personal experiences of feeling vulnerable and crying for no apparent reason, highlighting the need to confront and understand emotions rather than suppress them. Terry highlights the societal pressure on men to hide vulnerability and encourages breaking that cycle.
Transitioning into Fatherhood and Prioritizing Family
Terry Henry explores the challenges of transitioning from an athlete's life to being a present and involved father. He reflects on not having a role model for being a partner and father and how he is working to find a balance between work and family life. Terry admits to the struggle of pleasing others and the need to prioritize his own happiness while being a better dad and partner.
If you enjoy hearing about the beautiful game, I recommend you check out my conversation with Frank Lampard, which you can find here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us8n8VBQn_c
What does it take to become a Premier League GOAT and what does it take from you when you walk away from the game?
Thierry Henry is a French professional football coach, broadcaster and former player. He is regarded as one of the best strikers and Premier League player of all time, and France’s highest-ever international goalscorer. He began his professional career in 1994 and played for Arsenal from 1999 to 2007, he is the club’s all-time leading goal scorer with 226 goals. He was PFA player of the year twice, in 2003 and 2004, and European Golden Boot twice, in 2004 and 2005, he retired as a player in 2014 and is now coach of the under-21 French national team.
In this interview, Steven and Thierry discuss everything from Thierry’s family’s expectation of him becoming a great football player, never feeling good enough and always wanting to get his father’s approval, ‘dying’ when he stopped playing football and his mental struggles after the game.
