136: What To Do When You're Anxious In Dating and How To Regulate Your Nervous System With Jessica Maguire
Apr 25, 2025
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Joining the conversation is Jessica Maguire, a nervous system educator who guides individuals in reconnecting with their bodies and regulating emotional responses, especially in dating. They discuss how nervous system signals drive anxious thoughts—like spiraling after perfect dates or feeling tense over missed texts. Jessica shares tools to differentiate between intuition and trauma responses, emphasizing the journey of emotional regulation and the importance of safety in relationships. Listeners learn strategies to cultivate healthier connections and reclaim control over their love lives.
The podcast highlights the importance of understanding one's nervous system to combat anxiety and improve emotional regulation in dating.
Jessica emphasizes the distinction between genuine intuition and trauma responses, urging listeners to reflect on their emotional patterns.
Actionable self-regulation tools, like physical movement and mindfulness practices, are crucial for maintaining emotional stability and fostering healthier relationships.
Deep dives
Exploring the Nervous System
The discussion highlights the journey of a physiotherapist who transitioned to a focus on the nervous system and its impact on health. After working for a decade in private practice, the need to understand the underlying causes of patients' symptoms led her to further explore neuroscience and the vagus nerve. This shift allowed her to develop a new approach when working with her patients, emphasizing education and self-regulation tools. She has since helped over 20,000 students understand the importance of taking charge of their own health.
Misconceptions of Nervous System Regulation
A central misconception surrounding nervous system regulation is the belief that it entails a constant state of calmness, often leading to the idea that individuals must suppress their emotions. Instead, regulation involves being aware of one’s internal state and having the ability to express feelings appropriately, whether through conversation or physical movement. Additionally, some mistakenly regard the vagus nerve as something that can be 'hacked' to eliminate stress once and for all. The reality is that emotional experiences and fluctuations are natural and can coexist with the process of regulation.
Understanding Emotional Availability
Emotional availability is defined as the ability to connect and engage in meaningful emotional exchanges, which often becomes critical in dating and relationships. Many people struggle with being attracted to emotionally unavailable partners, often mistaking it for chemistry or excitement, disregarding the potential harm it can cause. This dynamic can stem from early experiences that lead individuals to seek out relationships that mirror past trauma or discomfort. The conversation underscores the importance of recognizing these patterns to foster healthier attachments.
Dysregulation and Its Indicators
Dysregulation can manifest in various ways, such as changes in one's voice and physicality, and is often mistaken for a sense of self. Individuals in a mobilized state may exhibit signs of anxiety and urgency in their communication, while those in an immobilized state tend to withdraw and present a flat affect. Recognizing these cues can help individuals identify when they are not in a regulated state, allowing for a clearer path back to emotional stability. The discussion emphasizes the importance of mindfulness and body awareness in managing these patterns effectively.
Implementing Tools for Self-Regulation
Effective strategies for self-regulation can involve physical movement or body awareness practices that ground individuals in their present state. Techniques such as the 'silent scream' or simply connecting with one's physical environment can help discharge pent-up energy and emotions. Additionally, developing interoceptive awareness—the ability to perceive internal bodily sensations—plays a crucial role in emotional understanding and regulation. This holistic approach encourages individuals to explore various modalities to find what resonates most for their personal journey to emotional health.
Why do you keep spiraling after a date that seemed perfect? Why does your chest tighten when they don’t text back? It’s not just anxiety—it’s your nervous system sounding the alarm. In this eye-opening episode, Sabrina sits down with nervous system educator Jessica Maguire to explore the hidden physiological patterns driving anxious thoughts, emotional dysregulation, and the urge to chase emotionally unavailable partners.
Whether you're constantly scanning for red flags or feel overwhelmed by connection, this conversation breaks down the difference between true intuition and trauma-informed reactions. Jessica shares actionable tools to reconnect with your body, regulate your responses in dating, and stop the cycle of self-abandonment. If you’re tired of your emotions hijacking your love life, this episode will help you get back into the driver's seat—grounded, clear, and calm.
Stuck After the Podcast? Master Implementation in 8 Weeks with Sabrina's Foundation Course HERE!
Do you feel like your emotions run the show and react in ways you can’t control? Join the Nervous System 101: Navigating the Unknowns In Early Dating from Sabrina and Masha Kay HERE!
Struggling with a breakup? Join the Make It Make Sense: Getting Through a Breakup course from Sabrina and Britt Frank HERE!
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Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formally known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity.
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