Henry Cloud, a renowned leadership expert and clinical psychologist, discusses the nuances of rebuilding trust after betrayal. He identifies five crucial factors of trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record. Cloud emphasizes that repairing trust starts with self-reflection and support networks. The conversation highlights that trust repair is messy and requires emotional regulation and forgiveness. Cloud's insights draw on personal experiences to illustrate how past influences decisions in the workplace, making trust a complex but vital component of leadership.
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insights INSIGHT
Trust is the Fuel of Life
Trust is essential for all aspects of life, from everyday interactions to large-scale business ventures.
Without trust, it's impossible to scale businesses, build strong teams, or even navigate simple daily tasks.
question_answer ANECDOTE
The Man on the Plane
Henry Cloud shares an anecdote about a man on a plane who claimed not to trust anyone.
Cloud points out that even this man trusts countless people, like pilots and mechanics, highlighting the inherent human need for trust.
insights INSIGHT
Five Factors of Trust
Five key factors contribute to trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record.
Each factor is crucial for establishing and maintaining trust in any relationship, whether personal or professional.
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In this book, Francis Fukuyama argues that the level of trust within a society is a crucial factor in its economic success. He contends that societies with high levels of trust, such as Germany, Japan, and the United States, are more likely to create flexible and large-scale business organizations necessary for competing in the global economy. Fukuyama examines various national cultures to identify the underlying principles that foster social and economic prosperity, emphasizing the importance of social capital and the interconnectedness of economic and cultural life. He challenges both neoclassical and state-centered economic theories by highlighting the role of trust and social virtues in economic development[1][2][4].
Henry Cloud: Trust
Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, clinical psychologist and a New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture.
Henry's work has been featured and reviewed by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher’s Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named him in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brené Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets. Henry is the author of Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken*.
When someone betrays your trust, what do you do next? In this conversation, Henry and I explore the five factors of trust and the importance of each one of them in our relationships. Then, we look at the starting point for rebuilding trust after a betrayal, beginning with you and your own support network.
Key Points
Five factors are key for trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record.
Repairing trust is not clean or orderly. The first step is about you, not the person who betrayed you.
Leaders who have a support network already in place are better able to take a pause and work through emotion and anger.
An authentic apology from someone should articulate the event itself, demonstrate their empathy for how the event felt to you, and appreciate the consequences of their actions.
Forgiving someone does not mean you trust them.
Resources Mentioned
Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken* by Henry Cloud
Interview Notes
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Related Episodes
The Art of Constructing Apologies, with Sandra Sucher (episode 535)
The Path Towards Trusting Relationships, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 539)
How to Approach a Reorg, with Claire Hughes Johnson (episode 621)
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