626: The Starting Point for Repairing Trust, with Henry Cloud

15 snips

Apr 17, 2023

Henry Cloud, a renowned leadership expert and clinical psychologist, discusses the nuances of rebuilding trust after betrayal. He identifies five crucial factors of trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record. Cloud emphasizes that repairing trust starts with self-reflection and support networks. The conversation highlights that trust repair is messy and requires emotional regulation and forgiveness. Cloud's insights draw on personal experiences to illustrate how past influences decisions in the workplace, making trust a complex but vital component of leadership.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Trust is the Fuel of Life

Trust is essential for all aspects of life, from everyday interactions to large-scale business ventures.
Without trust, it's impossible to scale businesses, build strong teams, or even navigate simple daily tasks.

ANECDOTE

The Man on the Plane

Henry Cloud shares an anecdote about a man on a plane who claimed not to trust anyone.
Cloud points out that even this man trusts countless people, like pilots and mechanics, highlighting the inherent human need for trust.

INSIGHT

Five Factors of Trust

Five key factors contribute to trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record.
Each factor is crucial for establishing and maintaining trust in any relationship, whether personal or professional.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Henry Cloud: Trust

Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, clinical psychologist and a New York Times bestselling author. His 45 books, including the iconic Boundaries, have sold nearly 20 million copies worldwide. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEOs, leadership teams, and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture.

Henry’s work has been featured and reviewed by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Boston Globe, Publisher’s Weekly, Los Angeles Times, and many other publications. Success Magazine named him in the top 25 most influential leaders in personal growth and development, alongside Oprah, Brené Brown, Seth Godin and others. He is a frequent contributor to CNN, Fox News Channel, and other national media outlets. Henry is the author of Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken*.

When someone betrays your trust, what do you do next? In this conversation, Henry and I explore the five factors of trust and the importance of each one of them in our relationships. Then, we look at the starting point for rebuilding trust after a betrayal, beginning with you and your own support network.

Key Points

Five factors are key for trust: understanding, motive, ability, character, and track record.
Repairing trust is not clean or orderly. The first step is about you, not the person who betrayed you.
Leaders who have a support network already in place are better able to take a pause and work through emotion and anger.
An authentic apology from someone should articulate the event itself, demonstrate their empathy for how the event felt to you, and appreciate the consequences of their actions.
Forgiving someone does not mean you trust them.

Resources Mentioned

Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken* by Henry Cloud

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

The Art of Constructing Apologies, with Sandra Sucher (episode 535)
The Path Towards Trusting Relationships, with Edgar Schein and Peter Schein (episode 539)
How to Approach a Reorg, with Claire Hughes Johnson (episode 621)

Discover More

Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic. To accelerate your learning, uncover more inside Coaching for Leaders Plus.