The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 4: Tracking Arousal- Not Behavior

22 snips

Dec 4, 2020

Explore the transformative idea of prioritizing arousal over behavior in parenting, especially for children from trauma backgrounds. Discover how understanding a child's arousal levels can lead to better emotional regulation and care. The discussion emphasizes the importance of felt safety and connection, moving away from traditional behavior modification techniques. Learn about Dr. Bruce Perry's arousal continuum model and how it relates to behavioral responses during stress, advocating for a compassionate and insightful parenting approach.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

ADVICE

Track Arousal, Not Just Behavior

Shift focus from solely tracking behaviors to understanding the underlying arousal.
Track the energy and arousal driving actions for more effective, long-term change.

INSIGHT

Felt Safety Drives Behavior

When humans feel safe, they exhibit connection-seeking behaviors.
Conversely, a lack of felt safety triggers protective behaviors, often those we aim to change.

INSIGHT

Arousal Continuum and Behavior

Dr. Perry's arousal continuum identifies four levels: alert, alarm, fear, and terror.
Increasing arousal correlates with escalating behaviors, from opposition to aggression.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

The key to true, long-lasting behavior change is actually to stop focusing on behaviors. Stop trying to change them. Stop the charts. Stop the behavior modification. Stop the rewards. Stop the punishments.

Read that again. How does that feel? Like a relief? Like terror??

Both?

Staying focused on behaviors, rewards, consequences, charts, stickers….it’s all just so exhausting. It’s exhausting because it doesn’t really work and because it’s pulling us out of integrity with what’s true. I think all of us have a place inside of us- maybe realllllly buried under a culture of behaviorism- that knows we are really missing the mark when we focus on behaviors.

But, if we stop focusing on behaviors- what do we do instead??? Behavioral techniques offer a bit of safety to the enforcer. They are such clear guidelines, and we like that!!

If we shift our focus on tracking the energy and arousal that underlies the behaviors, we still get to have the safety and structure that a more behavioral approach offered, while also the relief of finally focusing on the real problem.

This episode introduces the concept of tracking arousal instead of behavior.

Read the original blog article and download the arousal tracking PDFs: https://robyngobbel.com/focus-on-arousal-not-behaviors-part-1/

Watch the original Facebook Live: https://robyngobbel.com/course/facebooklives/

Teaching kids about their owl, watchdog, and possum brain is one key piece of growing their owl brain and calming their watchdog and possum brain!

You'll get access to the recording and OODLES of resources.

Club Members- you do NOT have to register!!!

***

Check Out All Robyn's Free Resources!
You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!

RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources

:::

Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

Join us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClub

Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion

Follow Me On:
Facebook
Instagram

Over on my website you can find:
Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)
LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)