The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Ep. 4: Tracking Arousal- Not Behavior

22 snips

Dec 4, 2020

Explore the transformative idea of prioritizing arousal over behavior in parenting, especially for children from trauma backgrounds. Discover how understanding a child's arousal levels can lead to better emotional regulation and care. The discussion emphasizes the importance of felt safety and connection, moving away from traditional behavior modification techniques. Learn about Dr. Bruce Perry's arousal continuum model and how it relates to behavioral responses during stress, advocating for a compassionate and insightful parenting approach.

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ADVICE

Track Arousal, Not Just Behavior

Shift focus from solely tracking behaviors to understanding the underlying arousal.
Track the energy and arousal driving actions for more effective, long-term change.

INSIGHT

Felt Safety Drives Behavior

When humans feel safe, they exhibit connection-seeking behaviors.
Conversely, a lack of felt safety triggers protective behaviors, often those we aim to change.

INSIGHT

Arousal Continuum and Behavior

Dr. Perry's arousal continuum identifies four levels: alert, alarm, fear, and terror.
Increasing arousal correlates with escalating behaviors, from opposition to aggression.

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The key to true, long-lasting behavior change is actually to stop focusing on behaviors. Stop trying to change them. Stop the charts. Stop the behavior modification. Stop the rewards. Stop the punishments.

Read that again. How does that feel? Like a relief? Like terror??

Both?

Staying focused on behaviors, rewards, consequences, charts, stickers….it’s all just so exhausting. It’s exhausting because it doesn’t really work and because it’s pulling us out of integrity with what’s true. I think all of us have a place inside of us- maybe realllllly buried under a culture of behaviorism- that knows we are really missing the mark when we focus on behaviors.

But, if we stop focusing on behaviors- what do we do instead??? Behavioral techniques offer a bit of safety to the enforcer. They are such clear guidelines, and we like that!!

If we shift our focus on tracking the energy and arousal that underlies the behaviors, we still get to have the safety and structure that a more behavioral approach offered, while also the relief of finally focusing on the real problem.

This episode introduces the concept of tracking arousal instead of behavior.

Read the original blog article and download the arousal tracking PDFs: https://robyngobbel.com/focus-on-arousal-not-behaviors-part-1/

Watch the original Facebook Live: https://robyngobbel.com/course/facebooklives/

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RobynGobbel.com/TheClub

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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book

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