The key to true, long-lasting behavior change is actually to stop focusing on behaviors. Stop trying to change them. Stop the charts. Stop the behavior modification. Stop the rewards. Stop the punishments.
Read that again. How does that feel? Like a relief? Like terror??
Both?
Staying focused on behaviors, rewards, consequences, charts, stickers….it’s all just so exhausting. It’s exhausting because it doesn’t really work and because it’s pulling us out of integrity with what’s true. I think all of us have a place inside of us- maybe realllllly buried under a culture of behaviorism- that knows we are really missing the mark when we focus on behaviors.
But, if we stop focusing on behaviors- what do we do instead??? Behavioral techniques offer a bit of safety to the enforcer. They are such clear guidelines, and we like that!!
If we shift our focus on tracking the energy and arousal that underlies the behaviors, we still get to have the safety and structure that a more behavioral approach offered, while also the relief of finally focusing on the real problem.
This episode introduces the concept of tracking arousal instead of behavior.
Read the original blog article and download the arousal tracking PDFs: https://robyngobbel.com/focus-on-arousal-not-behaviors-part-1/
Watch the original Facebook Live: https://robyngobbel.com/course/facebooklives/
Professionals who work with parents of kids with big, baffling behaviors!
Join us for Reframing Resistance: Supporting Parents and Caregivers thru the Lens of Relational Neuroscience.
See the website for all details and to register!
RobynGobbel.com/ReframingResistance
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You can download all sorts of free resources, including webinars, eBook, and infographics about topics such as lying, boundaries, and co-regulation!
RobynGobbel.com/FreeResources
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Grab a copy of my book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/book
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Apply for the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With) robyngobbel.com/Immersion
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Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)
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LOTS & LOTS of FREE Resources
Ongoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The Club
Year-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)
