832 Whitney Cummings on Loving Yourself, Addiction and Creative Success
Aug 5, 2019
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Whitney Cummings, a renowned stand-up comedian and creator of hits like '2 Broke Girls,' opens up about the complexities of self-love and personal growth. She discusses the necessity of letting go of outdated coping mechanisms that hinder relationships and success. Whitney highlights the healing power of forgiveness, the role of anxiety as a guiding force, and the importance of emotional intelligence in fostering genuine connections. Her insights on navigating Hollywood's ups and downs shed light on finding authenticity amid external pressures.
Break codependency patterns and attract healthier relationships.
Prioritize peace and communication over drama in relationships.
Greatness involves authenticity, leading by example, and impactful art creation.
Deep dives
Overcoming Trauma Patterns in Relationships
Prior to meeting her partner, Whitney Cummings realized she was recreating childhood circumstances in her relationships by being drawn to people with negative qualities of her primary caretakers. She found herself trauma bonding and chasing approval, leading to destructive relationships. Through personal growth work and setting boundaries, she shifted her focus to healthy relationships characterized by mutual growth and respect.
Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Whitney values her partner's emotional intelligence, patience, and ability to set boundaries. He does not take her behavior personally, understands her idiosyncrasies, and allows her to be authentic without feeling disappointed or controlling. Their relationship respects individual needs, fosters independence, and creates a space of peace and acceptance.
Developing Healthy Intimacy & Strong Communication
Whitney emphasized the significance of building intimacy based on peace and strong communication rather than chaos or trauma drama. Mutual respect for each other's boundaries and emotions allows them to coexist in a healthy way, garnering an appreciation for the value of peaceful coexistence and individual growth within the relationship.
Lessons Learned from Her Father
A valuable lesson Whitney learned from her father was the importance of asking questions and listening to others. Initially underestimated, his advice to inquire about others to make them feel valued and heard resonated with her, highlighting the enduring impact of his wisdom even after his passing.
Greatness Defined by Impact and Influence
Greatness, as described by the speaker, involves excellence and authenticity, leading by example, and evolving through creating value and impacting others. The focus is on making a lasting impression on individuals, prompting thought shifts, behavioral changes, or emotional reactions. Greatness is seen as a process of leaving a significant impact on people as they engage with the speaker's work, whether through stand-up, art, or other forms of expression.
Importance of Leading by Example and Authenticity
Authenticity and leading by example are highlighted as essential components of greatness. Prioritizing personal growth and setting a positive model for others to follow by staying true to oneself and continuously evolving are seen as significant aspects of achieving greatness. Embracing imperfection, making incremental progress, and displaying genuine behavior are valued over perfection and superficial success.
Imparting Valuable Life Lessons Through Art
Greatness is connected with the ability to use art as a medium for empowering individuals, prompting critical thinking, and influencing positive change. By creating works that challenge perspectives, invoke reflection, or inspire action, the speaker aims to imprint audiences with new insights, encourage personal growth, and provoke meaningful conversations.
Recognizing the Impact of Small Acts and Incremental Progress
Acknowledging the significance of small gestures and gradual improvements in achieving greatness, the importance of consistent effort and positive actions, regardless of scale, is emphasized. Honoring the process of daily self-improvement, connecting with others through kindness and understanding, and embracing the journey of growth contribute to overall greatness.
WE HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH OURSELVES. We learn a lot of coping mechanisms when we’re younger. They help us get through tough times. But so many of us are still carrying around tactics that are no longer needed. They can make us defensive. They can prevent us from developing relationships. And they can hold us back from our goals. We need to “update our software.” Our situation has changed, but our brain has stayed the same. By working through your issues and not being afraid to change, we can learn healthier ways to move through the world. On today’s episode of The School of Greatness, I talk about letting go of the things that no longer serve us with a world-famous comedian: Whitney Cummings. Whitney Cummings is a stand-up comedian, actress and producer. She created the CBS sitcom 2 Broke Girls, the NBC sitcom Whitney, and the movie The Female Brain. She was also a producer and writer for the ABC revival of Roseanne. So get ready to learn all about codependency and reinventing yourself on Episode 832.
Some Questions I Ask:
When did you realize you were good at stand up? (6:30)
What are you most proud of? (29:00)
Who was more influential growing up- mom or dad? (51:00)
How do you deal with the Hollywood ups and downs? (1:06:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
Why we should forgive our parents (20:00)
How anxiety can help you (27:00)
How to change the type of people you’re attracted to (36:00)
Why your relationship needs to be “boring” (41:30)
The difference between interdependence and codependency (48:00)
Why financial freedom is important to Whitney (1:00:00)
About PC culture and stand up comedy (1:33:00)
If you enjoyed this episode, check out the video, show notes and more at: http://www.lewishowes.com/832 and follow at instagram.com/lewishowes.
