Calmly Coping

Loosening the Grip of Perfectionism with Dr. Tara Cousineau

20 snips
Jul 9, 2025
Guest
Tara Cousineau
Dr. Tara Cousineau, a Harvard clinical psychologist and author, dives deep into the hidden struggles of perfectionism. She reveals how it often stems from fear and anxiety, cloaked as a strength in high achievers. Tara shares insights on embracing self-compassion and using Internal Family Systems to heal from perfectionist urges. She emphasizes the importance of body-based practices and simple mindset shifts to soften the inner critic, encouraging listeners to break free from the exhausting pressure to perform.
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INSIGHT

Perfectionism's Spectrum Explained

  • Perfectionism exists on a spectrum influenced by the need for belonging and energy regulation.
  • Well-regulated energy fosters happy achievement, while depletion leads to isolation and stress.
INSIGHT

Perfectionism as Protection

  • Perfectionism is deeply rooted in the primal human need to belong and avoid rejection.
  • It acts as a protective mechanism to prevent social exclusion and ensure survival.
INSIGHT

Types of Perfectionism Vary Widely

  • Perfectionism can be self-imposed or influenced by external pressures like bosses and social comparisons.
  • Many don't neatly fit traditional categories and experience unique personal perfectionism.
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