What if "nothing happened" in your childhood, yet you still feel numb, flooded, or stuck in people pleasing or hyper-independence? This episode explores childhood emotional neglect, an often overlooked Adverse Childhood Experience that can wire the nervous system away from felt safety, expression, and connection. We look at how a lack of attunement can shape brain function, stress responses, and adult relationships, and why naming the pattern opens a path to repair.
In this conversation, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace map out how emotional neglect shows up across attachment patterns, boundaries, and health outputs. They share trauma-informed context, lived reflections, and practical neurosomatic tools to rebuild capacity for feeling, processing, and connection without blame.
You will learn how repression becomes protection, why hyper-independence can feel "safer" than asking for help, and where to begin with gentle, minimum-effective-dose practices to increase interoceptive awareness and co-regulation in daily life.
This episode is for anyone who grew up in a "pretty good" home yet struggles with shutdown or overwhelm, for cycle-breaking parents, and for practitioners supporting clients with complex stress patterns. You will leave with language for your experience and first steps to begin rewiring.
Timestamps:
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00:00 Why emotional neglect is an overlooked ACE
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05:00 Defining emotional neglect and attunement needs in development
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11:00 Repression as protection and links to adult health outputs
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18:00 Attachment patterns, people pleasing, and hyper-independence
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25:00 Practicing self-compassion while breaking cycles
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32:00 Parenting notes: modeling emotions and co-regulation
- 39:00 Neurosomatic tools and first steps for repair
Key Takeaways:
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Emotional neglect can be subtle yet impactful, shaping nervous system patterns, attachment, and long-term health without assigning blame.
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Repression often begins when big emotions are not met with co-regulation; later, it can appear as numbness, pain, inflammation, or compulsive coping.
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Hyper-independence can be a protective strategy that avoids the vulnerability of asking for support.
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Gentle, consistent practices that build interoceptive awareness and capacity help contribute to feeling safe again.
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Modeling emotional expression and staying present are powerful ways caregivers support nervous system development.
Resources Mentioned:
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