Attachment wounds, anger, and shame

What if "nothing happened" in your childhood, yet you still feel numb, flooded, or stuck in people pleasing or hyper-independence? This episode explores childhood emotional neglect, an often overlooked Adverse Childhood Experience that can wire the nervous system away from felt safety, expression, and connection. We look at how a lack of attunement can shape brain function, stress responses, and adult relationships, and why naming the pattern opens a path to repair.

In this conversation, co-hosts Elisabeth Kristof and Jennifer Wallace map out how emotional neglect shows up across attachment patterns, boundaries, and health outputs. They share trauma-informed context, lived reflections, and practical neurosomatic tools to rebuild capacity for feeling, processing, and connection without blame.

You will learn how repression becomes protection, why hyper-independence can feel "safer" than asking for help, and where to begin with gentle, minimum-effective-dose practices to increase interoceptive awareness and co-regulation in daily life.

This episode is for anyone who grew up in a "pretty good" home yet struggles with shutdown or overwhelm, for cycle-breaking parents, and for practitioners supporting clients with complex stress patterns. You will leave with language for your experience and first steps to begin rewiring.

Timestamps:

• 00:00 Why emotional neglect is an overlooked ACE

• 05:00 Defining emotional neglect and attunement needs in development

• 11:00 Repression as protection and links to adult health outputs

• 18:00 Attachment patterns, people pleasing, and hyper-independence

• 25:00 Practicing self-compassion while breaking cycles

• 32:00 Parenting notes: modeling emotions and co-regulation

• 39:00 Neurosomatic tools and first steps for repair

Key Takeaways:

• Emotional neglect can be subtle yet impactful, shaping nervous system patterns, attachment, and long-term health without assigning blame.

• Repression often begins when big emotions are not met with co-regulation; later, it can appear as numbness, pain, inflammation, or compulsive coping.

• Hyper-independence can be a protective strategy that avoids the vulnerability of asking for support.

• Gentle, consistent practices that build interoceptive awareness and capacity help contribute to feeling safe again.

• Modeling emotional expression and staying present are powerful ways caregivers support nervous system development.

Resources Mentioned:

• Attachment Theory research (John Bowlby and colleagues)

• Neurosomatic Intelligence Coaching Certification (NSI)

• Sacred Synapse on YouTube (psychedelics, neuroscience, NSI education) https://www.youtube.comhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0_Bz9OvfHN0nvQos4kfi9Q

• Explore working with Jennifer www.illuminatedwithjennifer.com

• Boundary Rewire Course: boundaryrewire.com – Repattern your nervous system for safer, more authentic boundaries.

If this conversation resonated with you, subscribe to Trauma Rewired wherever you listen to podcasts and leave a review to help more people discover trauma-informed education grounded in neuroscience.

👉 For deeper support this season, explore Boundary Rewire —a 5-module neurosomatic course designed to help you repattern stress responses and create boundaries that feel safe, natural, and grounded in authenticity. It's just $27 through the end of the year. boundaryrewire.com

👉 You can also continue learning tools for nervous system regulation and post-traumatic growth at rewiretrial.com

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Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

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