"Why don’t you listen?” Paying attention vs. hearing (Peter’s story)
Mar 5, 2024
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Peter Jones, a UX designer and software architect from New Hampshire, shares his enlightening journey with ADHD. He reflects on childhood experiences where adults misinterpreted his struggles as hearing issues. The discussion dives into the intricate relationship between auditory processing and ADHD, distinguishing between listening and hearing. Peter also highlights how aging can uncover previously misunderstood symptoms, and he emphasizes the importance of embracing one’s ADHD traits while advocating for better understanding and support in society.
Peter's journey highlights the distinction between hearing issues and ADHD, emphasizing how misinterpretations can obscure true challenges in learning.
The stigma surrounding ADHD can lead to internal conflict, but acceptance of the diagnosis fosters personal growth and reshapes one's identity.
Deep dives
The Journey to Understanding ADHD
Peter Jones reflects on his high school experience where he was loosely diagnosed with ADHD amid struggles in school. Initially, he believed his difficulties primarily stemmed from hearing issues, as he often lost focus in class despite being close to others or the teacher. This perception led to numerous hearing tests and consultations with specialists, who confirmed minor hearing loss, yet the real problem remained elusive. The stigma associated with ADHD in the 90s made it easier for him to attribute his challenges to hearing rather than accept a diagnosis of ADHD, creating a long internal conflict about his true identity and capabilities.
The Realization of Inattentive ADHD
In his 30s, Peter experienced increasing responsibilities at work and home, leading to more noticeable symptoms of inattention that he had previously downplayed. A pivotal moment occurred when a friend shared his own ADHD journey, introducing Peter to the concept of inattentive ADHD, which resonated deeply with him. This revelation helped Peter recognize that his struggles with focus were not solely linked to his hearing but were part of a broader pattern of inattentiveness. The clarity he gained from this understanding allowed him to approach his challenges more constructively, seeing them as separate from his identity rather than limiting factors.
The Impact of Diagnosis on Identity and Career
Despite accepting his ADHD diagnosis, Peter acknowledges the enduring stigma surrounding the condition and its implications for his professional life. His initial fears revolved around how ADHD might cap his ambitions and achievements, causing him to be cautious about disclosing his diagnosis to colleagues and superiors. This apprehension is rooted in a desire to prove his capabilities before revealing his struggles, ensuring he is seen as competent despite the stereotype associated with ADHD. Ultimately, Peter’s journey reflects the importance of reframing one’s identity and gaining clarity through diagnosis, which can lead to personal acceptance and professional growth.
Peter Jones used to feel better about saying he had a hearing problem rather than considering ADHD. When he was a child in the 90s, adults thought his “listening problem” was because he couldn’t hear. Turns out, Peter does have some trouble hearing lower frequencies, but that didn’t explain his other symptoms.
Now, Peter knows he has ADHD and is not afraid to say it. On this episode, Host Laura Key and Peter discuss what it means when a child is “listening,” and how auditory processing comes into play.
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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