The Next Big Idea Daily The Hidden Cost of People-Pleasing
21 snips
Aug 20, 2025 
Meg Josephson, a licensed psychotherapist and author of 'Are You Mad at Me?', dives into the hidden costs of people-pleasing. She uncovers how early trauma can fuel the 'fawn' response, making us prioritize others over ourselves. Josephson discusses the importance of self-awareness and distinguishing our feelings from others'. She shares practical strategies for embracing discomfort, essential for personal growth. With a focus on detaching self-worth from external approval, she guides listeners on a path to healthier self-relationships.
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People‑Pleasing As A Trauma Response
- People-pleasing often stems from a learned trauma response called fawning, not just personality.
- Fawning kept people safe in volatile childhoods but becomes exhausting when it becomes a default pattern.
Childhood Hypervigilance Followed Her
- Meg Josephson describes growing up in a volatile home that trained her to constantly check if her dad was mad.
- That hypervigilance followed her into adulthood as fear of getting fired or being in trouble.
Use A Pause To Break Patterns
- Pause before reacting to notice whether you're responding from an old protective pattern.
- Use that pause to ask if you're actually safe and how your present self wants to respond.
