Dr. Gabor Maté, a renowned speaker, physician, and author, discusses topics such as the challenges of authenticity, the impact of abandonment on adult relationships, the potential for adaptability in human nature, embracing oneness and the role of psychedelics, exploring insecurity and self-perception, epigenetic need and trauma transmission, and the four A's of healing.
Suppressing our true emotions and identities to conform to societal expectations can result in stress, illness, and chronic diseases.
Recognizing and embracing our true selves is essential for leading healthy and fulfilling lives.
Failure can ultimately lead to success and understanding, and should be seen as a means of personal growth and learning.
Deep dives
The Importance of Understanding and Embracing Authenticity
Dr. Gabor Mate discusses the negative impact of not being true to ourselves. He explains how childhood experiences shape our sense of self and often lead to suppressing our true emotions and identities to conform to societal expectations. This disconnect from our authentic selves can result in stress, illness, and chronic diseases. Mate emphasizes the importance of recognizing and embracing our true selves in order to lead healthy and fulfilling lives.
Healing and the Role of Trauma in Illness
Mate explores the connection between trauma and illness. He shares his personal experiences of trauma and discusses how childhood traumas can manifest in adulthood as various health issues. Mate challenges the notion that blame should be placed on individuals for their illnesses, highlighting that traumatic experiences and the subsequent coping mechanisms people develop are not choices. Instead, he encourages self-understanding and taking responsibility for one's healing journey.
The Role of Failure in Personal Growth
Mate reflects on two pivotal failures in his life - being fired from his position as a medical coordinator and feeling unable to write his book. These failures turned out to be valuable lessons that led him to new opportunities and self-discovery. He explains the importance of recognizing and embracing failure as a means of personal growth and learning. Through his own experiences, Mate exemplifies how failure can ultimately lead to success and understanding.
The Four A's in Healing
Mate introduces the concept of the Four A's: anger, acceptance, agency, and authenticity. He emphasizes the significance of healthy anger as a boundary defense mechanism and a means of preserving one's health. Mate also highlights the importance of acceptance, agency (taking responsibility for one's healing), and authenticity in the healing process. These qualities help individuals lead healthier, happier lives by setting boundaries, being true to oneself, and taking active control of their overall well-being.
Embracing Aging and Finding Peace
Mate shares his thoughts on aging and reflects on the conflicts and acceptance that come with it. He acknowledges that while physical changes and limitations may arise with age, there is also an opportunity for growth, wisdom, and self-acceptance. Mate believes that curiosity, playfulness, and maintaining a sense of wonder and adventure can transcend age and continue to bring joy and fulfillment throughout life.
Welcome to The How To Fail F-Word miniseries! Three days, three guests, three different F-words. Today, we start with Gabor Maté...on feelings. Gabor is a renowned speaker, physician and author; a practitioner who has revolutionised our understanding of stress, addiction and childhood development. He has written four bestselling books, including the worldwide best-seller When the Body Says No which argued - controversially at the time - that stress had a major role in the onset of most chronic diseases. His latest work, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture, is co-authored with his son, Daniel. It outlines how true health is possible, but only if we are willing to embrace authenticity and acknowlege our true feelings.
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The Myth of Normal by Gabor Maté is out now and available to buy here.
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How To Fail With Elizabeth Day is hosted and produced by Elizabeth Day. To contact us, email howtofailpod@gmail.com